


When it feels like this

by Jodym134



Series: When it feels like this [1]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Bit more fluff, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:47:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 31,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23702575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jodym134/pseuds/Jodym134
Summary: A collection of Bechloe oneshots.All connected.Fluff, fluff, more fluff.A little smut chapter eventually.A couple angsty chapters.Enjoy.
Relationships: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell
Series: When it feels like this [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1735654
Comments: 16
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This started as my first ever fic back in august. Still ongoing. 
> 
> comments and kudos would be welcomed :)

Beca Mitchell was head over heals for Chloe Beale. The redhead, with the beaming smile and ocean blue eyes. It had taken her years to figure out her true feelings for her best friend, or perhaps just accept them.

Her thoughts (and there were a lot of them) throughout the years had always been pushed away through fear of herself having read too much into things. Chloe was sunshine and candy floss and unapologetically joyful. She had no sense of personal space, but she was the best friend Beca could have asked for. She was patient and kind and always listened. Brick by brick, she had broken down every single wall that Beca had built up around herself.

Eight months after graduation, seven months 3 days after Beca had moved away to LA to pursue a career as a music producer, she had Chloe by her side, now more than just best friends and she could not be happier.  
\---------—  
In the weeks leading up to Chloe's visit, the two women had messaged daily, both excited to see each other. They had pre-planned all the things that they would be doing, which places Beca wanted to take Chloe, the restaurants they would eat in, the beaches they would visit.

They had had weekly Skype calls but nothing was ever as good as being in each other's company and truth be told, Beca secretly missed the physical contact that Chloe forced upon her.

A few days before Chloe's impending visit, Beca had informed her, that although she had 2 weeks off work, there would be an event she had no choice but to attend, and almost begged her to be her plus one. Chloe didn't need any persuasion though, she didn't need an excuse to get dressed up and spend time with her best friend.  
\-------—  
The first week after the redhead arrived was spent going to all the places on the previously discussed agenda. Chloe was almost shocked at the confidence the brunette exuded when out and about in LA. They had a chance to visit the offices that Beca worked in, meeting a few work colleagues, and getting a tour inside the studio. The smile that graced Beca's face when she was explaining all the different buttons and switches blew Chloe away.

Saturday soon rolled around, knowing they'd be out most of the night at Beca's work event, the girls had decided to stay home and chill, eating left over Chinese for lunch and curled up together on the sofa watching 'Friends' re-runs.

After both had showered during the late afternoon, they worked around each other in the small apartment to get ready. Chloe had done Beca's hair for her, lightly curled with one side put up into a French braid, before doing her own into a pretty up-do. They separated to do their makeup and get dressed. Beca had taken to the bathroom and left Chloe in the bedroom with the full length mirror.

Beca had been to these types of events multiple times over the last 8 months. So she knew she had to dress up. Her usual skinny jeans and plain shirt were just not acceptable. She wasn't totally comfortable wearing a dress, but she had been drawn to it when she saw it in a shop window. She had left her makeup light, just a layer of mascara and sparse eye liner.

It hadn't taken her long to get ready, so upon waiting for Chloe she wandered around the flat. She had tidied some things in the living room before stepping up the her piano in front of the large window. She absentmindedly pressed some keys and started playing a song she had learned years ago. She was lost in her own little world and she didn't know for how long.  
She finished playing, closed the piano lid and stood up. Turning on her heel, she almost jumped out of her skin when she suddenly noticed Chloe leaning against the door frame. "Shit Chlo, you nearly gave me a heart attack."

Chloe stood slack jawed as she looked Beca up and down. "Wow, Bec...you look incredible". She had seen Beca in dresses before, but they were usually just skater dresses, never anything quite so figure hugging. The tight black knee length and low cut dress, with leatherette shoulder straps clung to all the right places. Paired with a pair of straps black heals, Beca looked simply amazing.

Beca felt the flush raise from her neck to her cheek at the compliment, but she was in just as much awe staring back at the redhead. "Wow yourself Chlo" she said motioning at the dress Chloe was wearing. The white calf length dress, that covered a lot more skin than her own but it still showed off Chloe's figure and the diamond shape cut out centred above her boobs showed just a small amount of cleavage. Paired with sparkly silver heels, Beca couldn't help the grin that made it's way to her face causing the redhead to let out a shallow chuckle.

7pm soon came around and they left the house to make their way to the bar. When they arrived they were greeted at the door with a glass of champagne and motioned inside. Beca made the rounds of pleasantries with other producers, her bosses, and a handful of up and coming artists that she would potentially be working with.

Chloe hadn't taken her eyes off of the brunette the entire night. Whether she was just off getting them another drink or whilst she was talking to anybody else. She knew that Beca was amazing at what she did, she had always known it, but seeing just how popular she was within the business universe, her heart was bursting with pride.

Drinks had flowed all night, probably too many, but they were having a good time. They danced the night away together, almost feeling like they were the only two in the room, the music was loud and the beat was intoxicating. The more they drank, the closer they danced together. They held onto each tightly, Chloe would occasionally grind up against Beca, it had caused her to blush hard, but she wasn't complaining. With both girls extremely intoxicated, they had decided to call it a night around 1am.

Chloe reached for Beca and took her hand into her own, lacing their fingers. Pulling her outside they signalled for a cab. The cab ride home was filled with more laughter, fingers still laced. At one point, Beca had made a joke about the redhead and in retaliation, Chloe had tugged on Beca's hand causing her to fall forward, face stopping extremely close to her own. Their laughter eased promptly as both looked into each other's blue eyes.

"I'm so glad you're here Chlo" Beca spoke barely above a whisper, still staring at Chloe. The heat of her breath mixed with the scent of alcohol sent a shiver up Chloe's spine. It didn't go unnoticed by Beca that Chloe kept making little glances down to her lips causing Beca to take her bottom lip between her teeth momentarily before continuing. "I don't want you to leave next week".

Chloe was silent, a million thoughts running through her mind. Hey eyes darting between Beca's in an attempt to read more behind them. Taking an audible gulp, she suddenly dove forward, capturing Beca in a searing kiss. When Beca didn't reciprocate her actions, Chloe pulled back with a feeling a sheer panic. 'Shit, this isn't what she wanted. Shit shit shit shit shit'...but before Chloe could finish her train of thought, Beca's lips were crashing into her own again.

Beca could feel Chloe's smile against lips as the kiss intensified. Before she knew it, she was straddling Chloe in the back of the cab, deepening the kiss further causing a low moan from the redhead. "Chloe?" Beca's voice was low, almost questioning, as she pulled away to gather oxygen. She removed herself from her friends lap to sit back down in the seat, pulling her dress back down as it had ridden up her thighs.

After the immediate shock had dissipated, Chloe turned to look at Beca with a wide close lipped smile gracing her flushed face. She cupped Beca's cheek, turning her face to look at her. She leant forward, pushed a piece of chocolate brown hair from the brunettes clammy face and whispered into her ear. "You've no idea how long I've been waiting for that to happen".

The rest of the cab journey was silent. They'd sat hand in hand, Chloe rubbing circles on the back of Beca's hand. There were several stolen glances at each other and smiles graced both of their still flushed faces. When the cab pulled up outside the block of apartments where Beca lives, she paid the driver and turned to walk towards the entrance. Chloe had been waiting at the door for her and as she closed the gap, the redhead held out her hand for Beca to take, and pulled her in the door and up the stairs as quickly as their drunken bodies would take them.

Beca fumbled with the key before finally getting inside the flat and slamming the door behind them. With their hands still entwined, Chloe lurched forward in pursue of another heated kiss. The kiss was rushed and desperate from them both before Chloe slowly pushed Beca backwards and against the close door. Beca's hands moved to grip the redheads hips in a bid to pull her flush against her body. After a short while, Beca pushed Chloe away lightly, disappointment rushing through the redhead at the sudden lack of contact. "We should talk about this first" Beca blurted out, still breathing heavily from lack of oxygen during the kiss.

Chloe could sense the panic washing over Beca. She stepped forward, looking deep into the brunettes eyes, a gentle hand ghosting up and down her arms attempting to calm her. "Ok, let's go talk".

They made their way into the lounge and sat silently for a few seconds before Beca finally spoke up. "What was that?" She spoke quietly, fiddling with the ring on her left thumb, not wanting to make eye contact with Chloe.

"What do you mean?...I'm pretty sure that we kissed." The redheads lips curling slightly at the corners as she replied.  
Beca let out a low sigh. "Right, but like, what does it mean? Because I don't want it to just be some stupid drunken hook up that you'll regret in the morning". Finally building the courage to look up at Chloe, she noticed the redhead smiling at her before she let out a laugh. "It's not funny. I love you Chlo and I'm not willing to lose my best friend over it". Her head dropped again and her eyes were back concentrating on her own hands.

Chloe scooted close to Beca and placed her hand on the brunettes leg. "Beca, look at me." When she didn't, Chloe lowered herself onto her knees in front of Beca. Looking up into her eyes, she could see tears threatening to spill. She took Beca's hands in her own and smiled at her trying to help ease the obvious anxiety. "Beca, I told you in the cab, I've wanted that to happen for such a long time. I just didn't know you felt like that." She spoke softly, giving the brunettes hands a gentle squeeze.

Beca lifted her head nervously. Desperate to look into Chloe's eyes in the hope that there was truth behind them. She shakily breathed out before closing her eyes tightly and finally speaking. "I think I've been in love with you for years." She spoke quietly, barely above a whisper, but Chloe heard her clearly. The small smile and the tears streaming from her beautiful blue eyes were proof of that. There was also a sense of pride because she knew how hard it must have been for Beca to speak about this. The girl who refused to talk about her own feelings, her own thoughts, had had the courage to speak out and even if it was just the effects of the alcohol that helped her, she didn't care, her heart was exploding with love and pride for the brunette sat in front of her. Without saying a word, she simply placed a loving kiss to Beca's lips and leant their heads together. "But Chlo, you leave in a week. Should we really start something that can't be continued?"

Chloe's brow furrowed and a slight look of hurt washed over her features, enough so that it hadn't gone unnoticed by Beca. Giving Beca's hands another reassuring squeeze, Chloe pulled away from Beca ever so slightly. "You think for one second I'm letting this go? Letting you go? You couldn't be more wrong. Yes, I have to go back home Beca, but we will work this out. I'll transfer as soon as I possibly can or I'll find a new job. We spent 8 months apart, I'm positive we can cope with a couple more. We will work this out". Letting out a little giggle she continued, "I've been in love with you since I barged into your shower and saw you naked". She joked with a cheeky wink.

For the first time since they sat on the sofa, Beca felt her own lips curl into a soft smile. She pulled her hands away from Chloe's, moving them up and wrapping them around the back of the redheads neck and pulled her in to searing kiss. "I love you Chlo".

—  
A couple of day later, laying next to Beca in bed, Chloe shifted onto her side with her head rested on her arm, looking at her beautiful girlfriend. "Babe, can we listen to some of your mixes?" Chloe whispered whilst running her fingers through the chocolate brown locks flowing around Beca's shoulders.

"I've not done any for while" Beca replied. Feeling a rush of nervous confidence, she continued, "but, umm, I, I've kinda been working on, umm, on something else the last couple of days." She glanced over at Chloe. "Wanna hear it?" She asked nervously.  
A big grin appeared on Chloe's face, putting Beca mildly more at ease. The redhead leant over and placed a light kiss to Beca's lips. "Of course I do".

Beca got up out of bed, making her way over to the piano. She pulled out the stool and sat down. Scooting over to one side, she motioned for Chloe to join her, tapping her seat so that she would sit next to her.

Beca took a deep breath, opened the piano lid and ghosted her fingers over the keys. She looked into Chloe's ocean blue eyes and reflected the smile that graced the redheads lips. Beca looked back down to the ivory and black keys for a couple of seconds before she closed her eyes and started playing and singing.

Who cares 'bout star signs?  
I'm hardwired to be with you  
You're like a sunrise and I'm scared  
That I'll never get enough of you  
Nobody called it a star fall,  
Come out the blue  
I'm all butterflies  
I'm sky-high for you  
When it feels like this  
Like a light came on  
And you look at me  
Like I'm all you want  
I got everything  
At my fingertips  
How can I resist  
When it feels like this?  
Uncover secrets  
Treasure hunting days away  
Stumbling on diamonds  
I'm speechless and blown away  
The little things  
I'm shivering  
The way you hold my hand  
I'm all butterflies  
I'm sky-high for you  
When it feels like this  
Like a light came on  
And you look at me  
Like I'm all you want  
I got everything  
At my fingertips  
How can I resist  
When it feels like this?  
Like you were always meant to be  
Right here next to me  
In your faded denim jeans  
Like we were always meant to be  
To think I never knew it  
Till now  
When it feels like this  
Like a light came on  
When you look at me  
Like I'm all you want  
I got everything  
At my fingertips  
How can I resist?  
When it feels like this  
Like a light came on  
When you look at me  
Say I'm all you want  
I got everything  
At my fingertips  
How can I resist  
When it feels like this?

As her fingers lingered over the last key, she finally opened her eyes and looked back up to Chloe. Her eyes were puffy and red and there were clear tear track marks down her face. The room fell silent for what felt like an eternity as they stared into each other eyes. Suddenly the brunette felt a hand placed on her cheek and a searing kiss pressed into her lips. "I'm so in love with you Beca Mitchell".


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know when I first posted this over on FFNet, there were a couple of mistakes...I think I have fixed it, if I have missed anything, then I apologise. xx

Growing up, Beca Mitchell never thought she would get married. Her childhood memories consisted of years of parental arguments, a divorce and a messy custody battle. She never wanted that for herself. She didn't want to be another statistic. 

Yet here she was, ring brought and just waiting for the perfect moment to propose to her best friend and the love of her life. Beca was a different person since Chloe. There was much more sunshine in her life. She still got stuck in her own head from time to time, but she was always willing to allow the red head to pull her out of it. Chloe was everything, her shoulder to cry on and her biggest cheerleader. 

About three years into their relationship, everything had started to set in place for both of the women. Beca had surprisingly quickly worked her way up the ladder and was not only starting to produce for some truly amazing artists, but she had recorded her first album and was due to go on a small three month tour. It was never in her life plan to become a recording artist, but since being in a relationship with her amazing girlfriend, words had just flowed from her. She knew she could just have had other artists sing her songs, but they were so personal to her, that it felt wrong to not sing them herself. Her work life was hectic and occasionally stressful, but the moment she walked in her front door, and saw her girlfriends crystal blue eyes and ear to ear smile, every ounce of stress dissipated. 

Chloe’s life plan had also changed. Throughout college, she had dreamed of becoming a vet, but she hadn’t been able to make it happen. She didn’t get accepted into three different vets schools, so had given up on the idea. When she moved to LA with Beca, she had taken on a job simply because it was a short commute, it paid relatively well and it was the only one of the 7, that she applied for, that had offered her a job. Chloe had never imagined herself working with children with additional needs, but three years later, she absolutely adored her job. It was more rewarding that any job she could imagine. 

‘’Chlo, have you seen my lucky bra?’’ Beca shouted down the stairs.

Chloe let out a sigh and shook her head. ‘’Babe, you’ve already packed it. You checked last night. Twice’’.

‘’Right, sorry’’. Beca was nervous for her first ever tour. She had got used to being on stage with the Bella’s but she had never done it alone. She tried to act cool about it, attempted to be all badass. 

Chloe could see straight through it though, she knew Beca was flapping. She wasn’t exactly ecstatic herself that the brunette would be away for three months with only a couple of opportunities of them spending a short time together throughout the tour. They had spoken about it numerous times before Beca had actually agreed to do it. They both knew that it was inevitable after the album launch. She couldn’t take this away from her partner but she hated the thought of not having her around, not spending their evenings together discussing their day, not having her there to cuddle up to, and waking up to an empty bed each morning. There wasn’t a lot Chloe could do about it though, she wasn’t able to get time off work during term times unless it was an emergency, and however much this felt like it was to the redhead, she knew it wasn’t the case. 

Making her way up the stairs of their new house, Chloe could see Beca sat at the desk in the office, big headphones placed over her ears, frantically tapping away on her laptop. She made her way over to the brunette, and gently embraced her from behind, resting her chin upon Beca’s shoulder. 

Beca flinched slightly at the unexpected contact but quickly settled and brought her right hand up to hold her girlfriends arm gently. Making a couple of final clicks, Beca turned her head to place a soft kiss on the redheads cheek before removing her head phone and turning to face Chloe again. ‘’You’re gonna give me a heart attack one day sneaking up on me all the time’’. 

‘’You’re going to give yourself one if you keep stressing the way you are about this tour’’. Chloe spoke softly, trying to stay calm in the hopes it would ease her girlfriends anxiety a bit. 

Beca’s face scrunched up a little. She knew she was being over anxious. She knew that she was stressing over this but it was a massive deal for her. Everything she did over the last three years involved Chloe and knowing she wasn’t going to be there on tour with her was killing her. ‘’Is it too late to cancel?’’ she joked. 

The redhead pulled out of the embrace, turned Beca around in the swivel chair and sat on her lap. ‘’Yes babe, far too late’’. The brunette pouted but Chloe simply pressed a kiss onto her lips in return. 

Pulling away from the kiss, but keeping her arms wrapped around her girlfriends waist, Beca let out a huge sigh and leant her face into Chloe’s forearm. 

Chloe placed her hand under Beca’s chin and raised it to look into her eyes. Staring into them for a few seconds. ‘’ What are you worried about? And do not say ‘nothing’, because I know you Mitchell, I can almost hear the cogs turning inside that pretty little head of yours’’. She continued staring into Beca’s eyes, almost praying to read whatever was going on inside her head.

Beca looked hesitant to answer. 3 and a half years ago, she would simply had shrugged and refused to answer, making an excuse to remove herself from the situation, however, she wasn’t the same person anymore. Chloe had knocked down the walls that she had previously built up around herself and Beca was more open with her now than she had ever been with any one else her entire life. ‘’I guess...i just...well I don’t know if I can do this without you by my side’’. Beca blushed slightly and bowed her head. When did she become so vulnerable and needy. 

Chloe felt a pang of guilt. She would have loved nothing more than to be there on tour with Beca but it just was not possible. ‘’Look at me Bec’’. She raised her head slowly to meet Chloe’s eyes with her own, that were now glazed with silent tears. ‘’We’ve discussed this haven’t we. I promise you, if it was possible I would have been there but just because I’m not going to be there in person, it doesn’t mean that I am not cheering you on every step of the way. You are amazing Beca Mitchell, and you can do this whether I am there or not, ok?’’ 

Beca simply nodded and let a single tear drop from her eye. ‘’Well I guess I will just have to make the most of not having the sheets stolen every night’’. She joked quietly, but the sad expression still hadn’t slipped from her facial expression. 

Chloe pulled Beca into a kiss. She wanted to make the most of this before Beca left. Seemingly the brunette felt the same as the kiss soon become more desperate and passionate. Chloe rearranged herself so that she was now straddling her girlfriends lap, willing their bodies to be as close as possible. The kiss continued, hands wandering, only breaking for need of oxygen. Chloe reached down to the hem of the brunettes shirt, breaking from the kiss to look into Beca’s eyes for confirmation before she lifted it. As her eyes met Beca’s steal blues, she noticed that tears had again started to gather in them. She leant her head against Beca’s and barely whispered, ‘’ Baby?’’

Beca sighed, furiously blinking in an attempt to hold back her tears. ‘’ Can we stop?...can we just cuddle please, I just...I just want to hold you’’. 

And that is exactly what they did. After checking Beca’s luggage for what felt like the hundredth time in three days, they settled down in bed. They barely spoke, barely said a single word, but Beca held Chloe tighter that night, she wrapped her arms around her and inhaled her scent, making a mental note of every detail of Chloe’s features. She would need them to get through the next 4 weeks before she will be able to see her in person again. Skype has never done justice for just how beautiful Chloe is. 

The departure was emotional. Neither wanted to let the other go, but eventually it was necessary. With one final embrace, Chloe whispered into her girlfriends ear, ‘’Call me the instant you land, I don't care how late it is, I need to know you got there safely’’. Beca had simply nodded and made her way over to the car that had been booked by her label to take her to the airport.

Beca had kept to her part of the deal and rang her girlfriend as soon as she possibly could after landing in the UK. Her album had been at the top of the album chart for three consecutive weeks so it felt right that this was where the tour was kicking off. Fourteen gigs in 22 days, it was a hectic schedule of gigs, interviews and rehearsals but she still found time to Skype or call Chloe at least once a day. Both women were struggling with the distance but both desperate not to let it show. Neither were sleeping very well without the other in bed next to them, it felt cold, and lonely. Chloe had made a Beca sized ‘pillow person’, figuring that snuggling up to it might help her doze off one night, it hadn’t worked, and she was too embarrassed to admit it to Beca. 

Beca loved being on stage once she had started. Adrenaline had kicked in, the atmosphere was simply incredible and hearing her name screamed out by thousands and thousands of people each night was indescribable. 

The three and a bit weeks had gone by quicker than she had expected. Although she was in her element, she missed Chloe. She missed her smile, her laugh, her scent. She missed the way Chloe would bite her bottom lip and give her puppy dog eyes when she wanted something. She missed the way Chloe would hum the same tune every evening when she brushed her teeth. She missed the cheeky winks, her little wiggle when she got excited and the way her hair flowed so beautifully around her shoulders. She missed how carefree and complete she felt when Chloe was around. 

Chloe had met Beca at the airport when she landed back in the US. She had told her that the label had arranged a car, but the redhead was having none of it. She had argued that she had to be away from her for weeks and that she wasn’t going to leave it a second longer than she needed to to see her. Of course she got her own way and Beca had to inform her manager that the car was no longer needed. 

As soon as she spotted the redhead in the crowd, she found herself running to embrace her in the tightest hug. The contact was reciprocated. A powerful kiss came crashing onto the brunettes lips and Beca’s legs almost gave way as they turned to jelly. This kiss had meaning, it was full of love, and adoration. 

The journey home was filled with chatter, Chloe filling in Beca on what had happened over the past few weeks. Although they had spoken daily, it had always been chat of the show, or simply just how much they missed and loved each other. Beca adored how Chloe lit up when talking about her job and the children she looked after and she couldn’t help the ever growing smile that appeared on her face. She knew Chloe was the caring type, everyone knew it. She was sunshine and rainbows, she was kind and she cared more than anyone Beca knew. 

Upon reaching their home, pulling into the drive way, Beca looked at Chloe and simply stated, ‘’God I’ve missed you’’. 

In the house, later that night, they were snuggled up on the sofa, stomachs full from pizza, the choice of takeaway because ‘England just doesn’t make them like we do’, watching some crappy reality television show that Chloe had been watching the last couple of weeks. Chloe had got up from the sofa to go wash up and get them a glass of wine from the kitchen. The brunette could here her humming ‘Titanium’ from the kitchen, when suddenly something clicked. That song brought back memories, memories of Barden, memories of how they met, and memories of how their friendship started. 

Reaching into her bag, Beca pulled out a small red box and stuffed it into her back pocket. She made her way into the kitchen quietly, still taking in the sound of Chloe’s humming. It sent shivers down her spine and butterflies to her stomach. With a smile on her face, and her heart beat rattling against her chest, she was nervous but so incredibly ready.

She knelt down on one knee behind Chloe, pulling the box out of her back pocket as she did. ‘’Chlo?’’.

Chloe turned around, bubbles on her hands from washing up. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head when she saw what Beca was doing. She was so shocked that words seemed to fail her. This was a first, Chloe Beale was speechless.

The brunettes smile turned to a nervous grin. She audibly gulped before closing her eyes and letting the words escape. ‘’Chloe, I was going to wait until after the tour, but being away from you the past few weeks has proved to me that I simply cannot live without you. I know I have to go away again for the rest of the tour, but I couldn’t wait another minute to ask you this. Chloe Beale...’’. She looked deep into her girlfriends watery eyes. ‘’Will you marry me?’’ 

There were tears, lots of them and from both women. Chloe pulled Beca from the floor and wrapped her arms tightly around her neck, burying her head into the long wavy brunette hair that splayed effortlessly around her girlfriends shoulders. ‘’ Yes, oh my god, yes’’.


	3. chapter 3

Chloe knew from an early age that she wanted to have children some day. It was never a doubt in her mind. Her favourite toys as a kid were her dolls. She would carry one around with her wherever she went. She had told Beca early on into their relationship that she eventually wanted children. She understood that Beca was hesitant, she hadn’t had the easiest of childhoods and she knew that the thought of having to look after another human being, a tiny one at that, absolutely petrified Beca. She had no doubts that her wife would be an amazing mama, but they had to wait until she was completely ready, and they had done just that. 

It hadn’t taken long after their wedding for family and friends to start questioning when they were going to start a family. Chloe’s birthday was less than a month after their wedding, and since everything had been hectic before hand and then they had been on their honeymoon before arriving in Georgia for the remainder of their time off work, the redheads parents had decided on organising her a big family meal. 

The day had been relatively calm, with just her parents, herself and Beca, simply chilling out around the house. They had taken her parents dogs for a nice long walk mid-morning, and returned in time to start helping with the food preparation. In true Beale style, Chloe’s father had set up a huge barbecue, her mother had made a mountain of sides and her two brothers wives had brought desserts with them. 

The house and back yard became busy around 5pm with aunties, uncles, cousins, Chloe’s brothers, their wives and 5 children between them. Neither of Chloe’s brothers had inherited their mothers red hair, both were tall and broad like their father. Chloe was definitely the spitting image of her mother, from the beaming smile, bright blue eyes and wavy red hair. Beca loved every single one of those features of her wife, which is probably why she felt such a strong bond to her new mother in law.

Their wedding day had been totally crazy, and although they had seen all their close friends and family, they hadn’t actually spent much time with them, so Chloe relished in this time to catch up with each and every one of them. She spent a lot of time telling her favourite Aunt about their life in LA, spouting how proud she was of Beca for all of her achievements in the music industry, Beca couldn’t help but blush. She talked about herself a little, and what she was doing at work, and how she had recently passed a course that she needed in order to become a more senior member at the school she was working in. She still loved her job, it was her passion. 

Her aunt had been the first to ask that evening. The first to question when they were starting a family. ‘’So dear, now that you are married, will there be babies in the near future?’’. 

Chloe smiled at her Aunt, not really a full smile though. ‘’Hopefully at some point, we are just both focused on our careers at the moment’’. She looked over at Beca who simply nodded in agreement. The brunette had seemed grateful that Chloe hadn’t told them it had to wait until or even if Beca was ever ready.

Chloe made her way around to talk to the rest of her family. Nearly every single female relative had asked the same questions. ‘’So, babies soon?’’, ‘’You guys looking at adoption or a donor?’’ & ‘’Isn’t it about time you guys about starting a family’’. The redhead gave them all roughly the same answer. 

A short while later, Chloe had been approached by one of her nieces. She picked up the dainty 4 year old and placed her on her hip. ‘’Auntie Chloe, Brennon and Jack wont let me play with them. Brennon says no girls allowed’’. The little girls voice was sad and paired with a familiar pout on her lips. 

Chloe looked over in the direction of her nephews who were running wild at the bottom of the garden playing cops and robbers. ‘’Oh, that’s not very kind of them is it. How about I come push you on the swing?’’ She leant further towards the little girls face and whispered, ‘’ No boys allowed’’. She winked making the little girl giggle which in turn put a huge smile on her own face. Chloe placed her niece on the ground and held her hand. She turned to her wife with an only slightly apologetic look before being yanked in the direction of the swing set.

Beca made her way over to her father in law at the barbecue with an ice cold beer for them both. ‘’Would you like any help?’’ she asked as she handed over the bottle. She knew she was a rubbish cook, and she was clumsy so adding flames into the mixed would probably have been a disaster waiting to happen, so she silently prayed that it would be a no. 

Mr. Beale let out a loud laugh making Beca jump slightly. ‘’How long have you been in a relationship with my daughter for now Beca?’’. Beca looked at him with a confused expression which again made the man laugh. He leant forward and lowered his voice, ‘’We are aware that there is a reason that Chloe had done all the cooking whenever we visited’’. Beca was mildly embarrassed but she couldn’t help the little laugh that left her lips. She was now completely certain that Chloe, even though she had denied it, had definitely informed them of the many disastrous meals Beca had attempted to cook.

Beca still wasn’t the best in social situations, she was quiet at times, but she was comfortable around her wife’s family, especially her parents and siblings. She chatted away to her father in law for a short while before going inside to see if she could be of any help there. Of course she wasn’t needed, Mrs. Beale had everything sorted and was just applying finishing touches to the birthday cake with one of her daughter in laws. 

Beca saw a couple of items in the sink and decided she would wash them up. She wanted to make herself useful since the Beale clan had done everything so far. The sink was situated under the window in the kitchen giving her the perfect view of her wife playing with her niece outside. Chloe was chasing Addison around the garden, picking her up and throwing her into the air. Beca couldn’t help but stare. Her wife was a natural with children and although she had seen her with her nieces and nephews before, she hadn’t really formed an opinion it. She seemingly went off into her own little world, continuing to watch out the window and hadn’t noticed that Mrs. Beale had called her name twice. She felt a gentle hand touch her shoulder before turning to see who it was. ‘’She’s going to make an amazing mom when the time is right.’’ and Beca simply smiled in reply. 

Later that evening, lots of food had been consumed, the youngest children had been put up to bed in the spare room, the older two boys were watching a film in their grandparents bedroom and aunties, uncles and cousins had left. 

The temperature had dropped outside so everyone was sat around the fire pit, many with blankets. Mrs. Beale had started telling stories about her children when they were young. They’d all heard them before, numerous times, but they still listened and they still laughed. Beca secretly loved hearing about young Chloe, especially the temper tantrums and strops. She was shocked the first time she heard the story that her family had titled ‘The great breakdown of ‘98’, she didn’t think it was possible for the women so full of sunshine, the women with the glass always half full, to have ever got so angry or moody. 

Beca shifted in her chair, her arms were bare and now covered in goosebumps from the cold. Waiting a few seconds so as not to interrupt her wife mid sentence, the brunette stood up, placed a kiss on her wife’s cheek and informed her that she was going up to the bedroom to get a hoodie. ‘’Ok baby, can you grab me one while you’re at it please?’’, Chloe replied. 

It was now dark out, but solar lights lit the way of the path leading to the house. The house was practically silent bar the sound of a movie playing in the master bedroom. She made her way up the stairs as silently as she could so that none of the children woke up. Just as Beca placed her hand on the knob of the bedroom door, she heard a light whimper. She froze in place, hand refraining from turning, in the hopes that the newest Beale baby would fall back to sleep. Mya was a very quiet baby, she only ever really fussed when she was hungry, had a dirty diaper or had dropped her dummy. Mya’s cries continued, getting slightly louder. Internally Beca was freaking out slightly, she didn’t know whether she should run downstairs and get someone, or just wait in the hope that Mya would settle herself. 

A minute or so passed and it seemed that the baby was not going to settle, Beca moved from her stilled position and gently pushed open the door to the spare bedroom. Her heart was racing as she made her way over to the travel cot. Inside, Mya was fussy, kicking out her tiny little legs and looking thoroughly pissed off. Beca took a deep breath trying to figure out what to do in order to calm the tiny little girl down. She noticed that her dummy was next to her shoulder so she attempted to put it back in her mouth. It soothed her instantly, but a couple of sucks and the dummy was spat back out and the whimpering cried restarted. 

Addison and Mikey were in the double bed a few feet away and both had started to twitch at the noise. Another bout of panic set in in Beca’s mind ‘oh crap, what if they all wake up’. Figuring there wasn’t much more she could do, she reached down into the cot and placed her hand on Mya’s chest. ‘’Shhh, shhh, hey what’s up little lady. Not want your dummy huh?’’ she spoke softly trying to sooth the tot. It didn’t really work, so with a deep breath and a mountain of nervous courage, the brunette leant down and picked up the baby. At first she was awkward, but soon manoeuvred the baby girl so that she was laying in her arms, rocking her back and forth gently. ‘’Is that better? Just needed a cuddle eh?’’ She smiled down at the tiny redhead, stroking her hair softly. ‘’ Looks like you got Nana and Auntie Chlo’s genes kiddo.’’ she whispered with a light chuckle. 

She had been in all of Chloe’s nieces and nephews lives since before the eldest was barely a toddler, so she had held babies but it was only ever when they were pretty much dumped on her lap whilst their moms had gone to make a bottle or heat up their lunch. It was never for long, and it had always felt forced and some what uncomfortable. It was still alien to her and she was nervous, but right now she didn’t feel uncomfortable. She continues to speak to Mya and when she had started to cry again, Beca began to sing to her. The baby girl had calmed instantly and lay in her arms just staring up at her.

Outside, Chloe had noticed that her wife had been gone for quite some time and was intrigued to know what was keeping her. Chat had quietened down around the fire pit and the family were simply basking in each others company. They got together as often as possible, but they still relished in it every single time. Standing up from her chair and stretching, Chloe looked over to her mother. ‘’I’m just gonna go check on Bec.’’ 

Amanda, Chloe’s sister in law, looked at her watch and rolled her eyes. ‘’I’ll come up with you, Mya was due a feed 20 minutes ago.’’

Both women walked up to the house, chatting about the day, Amanda asking Chloe if she had enjoyed herself. Of course the redhead had, she got to spend the day with her entire family, and nothing was better than that in her mind. Amanda grabbed a bottle from the bag and Chloe led the way up the stairs. Both women stopped on the spot when they heard singing coming from upstairs. Chloe knew the song instantly, it was one Beca had been working on for a new album, no one else had heard it other than her. Chloe looked over her shoulder at her sister in law and put her finger up to her lips, silently asking her to keep quiet. She glanced along the hallway to their bedroom but there was no light coming from under the door, meaning Beca was not in there, and neither from the bathroom. Both women shared an inquisitive look before simultaneously moving their eyes over to the door of the spare bedroom. It was open a few inches and light spread it’s way to the hallway. 

Chloe moved first, making her way over to the door and peaking inside. Her heart melted instantly. There was her wife, with a twelve week old baby in her arms, rocking her gently and soothing her with her songs. In that instant, Chloe felt like her ovaries could burst with broodiness. The redhead moved out of the way in order for Amanda to have a look for herself. She turned around with the biggest smile on her face, that was mirroring the one Chloe wore. 

‘’She is gonna be the best mama one day.’’ Chloe whispered as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. 

Amanda simply handed over the bottle of milk and gestured for her sister in law to go into the room. ‘’You got this yeah?’’ 

Chloe nodded as Amanda made her way back downstairs. She took a deep breath and gently pushed the door open a little further. She didn’t say a single word as she continued to watch Beca in awe. The brunette had her back to the door, still swaying lightly and singing. Chloe, pushed through the door as quietly as possible and walked the few steps to come up behind her wife. 

Beca felt her heart skip a beat at Chloe’s touch on her shoulder. ‘’Jesus, Chlo. What have we discussed about the sneaking around thing?’’ Beca stated with a smile. She turned around slowly, cradling a sleeping baby in her arms. ‘’She was crying.’’ Beca blurted out, as if she needed to explain herself.

The redhead planted a soft kiss to her cheek and then to the baby’s. ‘’Is there an end to these talents of yours huh Mitchell?’’ Chloe questioned with a smirk on her face and directing her eyes to the completely sparko baby in Beca’s arms. Beca simply scoffed and rolled her eyes in reply. ‘’She’s due a feed. You wanna?’’. 

Panic rose in Beca’s chest but she tried not to show it. ‘’firstly, It’s Mitchell-Beale to you’’, she poked her tongue out before continuing. ‘’and secondly, ummm, I’ve never fed a baby, so you should probably do it.’’ she attempted to awkwardly hand the baby over to her wife. 

Chloe refused to take the baby. She loved seeing the brunette like this. She loved seeing this side to her. A side she knew that nobody else had ever seen. This moment would be etched in her brain for a long time. ‘’No babe, you can do it. Lets take her into our room and I’ll show you what to do.’’ Beca simply nodded before the two women crept out of the room and down the hall to their bedroom. 

Chloe’s bedroom hadn’t changed much since she was a teenager, except now it was filled with photos of the Bellas and trophies from competitions they had won, along with all the stuff Chloe had seemingly collected over the years. It was neat and tidy, and bright...a perfect reflection of the redhead. 

‘’Right pass her here, and go sit up against the headboard. Oh and make sure you’re comfy.’’ Chloe said with a wide smile. Beca didn’t say anything but did as she was told. She didn’t feel totally comfortable but she could never say no to her wife. Beca was certain that Chloe could ask her to jump off a cliff, and one stare into her beautiful blue eyes, she would do it, no questions asked. She knew she could do anything with Chloe by her side.

The next half an hour went by quickly. Chloe had placed the baby into Beca’s arm, explained to her what angle to hold the baby in her arms, and to prevent any air getting in the teat. Chloe sat down next to them, watching her wife and occasionally stroking the babies head. Mya was a dream, she took her entire bottle, and had brought up her wind relatively easily, all whilst still in the land of nod. 

Beca had handed Mya over to Chloe as her arm had lost feeling. She looked down at the little girl in her wife’s arms and couldn’t help the thought that she was now 99% sure that she wanted this for them. She still had that worry that she would mess something up but it was no longer a question of if she would ever be ready, it was definitely now a when, because with Chloe by her side, she was capable of virtually anything. ‘’Hey Chlo?’’

‘’Mmmhmm’’ 

‘’Umm, I’ve been thinking.’’ Chloe took her eyes off the baby to look over to her wife. Beca looked nervous but Chloe stayed quiet to let Beca continue. ‘’ How about when we get back home, we look into what the first steps are...to uh...for us to start a family?’’. Chloe’s eyes lit up and a wide closed lipped smile graced her face. ‘’ I want this’’ She whispered motioning between the three of them. ‘’ For us, like in the near future.’’ 

Chloe couldn’t speak, she just nodded and smiled through the tears making their way down her cheeks.


	4. chapter 4

It had taken them seventeen months. Seventeen months of emotions, disappointment and heartache. Seventeen long, agonising months to finally see those two lines on the pregnancy test. 

It hadn’t taken the couple long after returning from their visit with Chloe’s parents, to start researching where they needed to start. They had ended up visiting three different clinics before deciding on the final one. They had both felt more comfortable with Dr. Jenson, she probably in her late thirties, with short ash blonde hair and green eyes. She had explained everything to them in terms they both understood and was patient in answering all of their questions. She had talked them through the process, step by step and had got to know them on a slightly more personal level. 

At the end of the meeting, she had informed them both that she would need them to make a further appointment in order to have blood tests and scans done to make sure that Chloe had a clear bill of health before they went any further. If all came back clear then they would be sent home with a booklet of donors to choose from. It would include a full medical history, hair and eye colour and build. 

Of course it had all come back clear. Chloe was a picture of health. After the third appointment, Beca and Chloe went straight home, and since both had booked the whole day off work, they decided to start looking at the donors booklet. 

Flicking through the pages at random, Beca looked up from the table and glanced over to her wife who was making them coffee and fixing them a snack. ‘’So, what exactly are you looking for? Like what eye colour, or height etc?’’ She asked.

‘’WE...what are WE looking for. It’s your baby too’’. The redhead stated whilst staring at her wife with a confused look. 

‘’Yeah, I know, but like, ummm, It’s your body and well we haven't actually had this discussion yet.’’.

Chloe quickly softened after hearing the nervousness in the brunettes voice. Beca was right, they hadn’t discussed it. Chloe knew that ideally she would life to find a donor with brunette hair and blue eyes. That way there was a 50/50 chance their baby would have some part of them similar to Beca. 

They spent the rest of the day going through the booklet, narrowing it down to two donors but had essentially made their final decision based on the donors height. They had gone for the slightly shorter one as even though Chloe was the taller of the two females, she was still petite. 

Chloe had not taken well to the hormone treatment, she was not herself. Her usually sunny attitude had faltered. She was moody, emotional and argumentative. There wasn’t a lot Beca could say that her wife didn’t snap at. She had originally been grateful that the course of hormones only last two weeks but the realisation had hit home that she may well have nine whole months of this. It worried her but she knew it would all be worth it in the end. 

There were a couple more visits to the clinic for scans before it finally came time to extract Chloe’s eggs. The redhead was sedated for the process and it was done within 25 minutes. They were sent on their way whilst the clinic began the fertilisation procedure and were told to expect a call within 24 hours to let them know if the fertilisation had been successful. 

Beca and Chloe had spent the entire evening cuddled up on the sofa watching crappy television programs. Both were nervous but hopeful. Once they had made their way up to bed, sleep hadn’t come easy. Chloe was the first to fall asleep, but was fidgety. Beca had laid in bed, just staring at the ceiling, willing herself to sleep since she had to go into work tomorrow. 

The morning came and Beca went off to work. Apologising multiple times to the redhead before she left and making her promise to call her as soon as she heard from the clinic. Chloe had kept herself busy, pottering around the house. She didn’t have work since it was the holidays. 

Chloe’s phone began to rang and she answered immediately with shaky hands.’’Hello….Yes this is she. Wow, OK. Thank you. So, what do we do next?’’. Her smile was wide as she finished the call. She immediately rang her wife and informed her. She explained that 3 embryos had successfully fertilised and that in less than a week they would be going in for the transfer. Excitement laced both of their voices. This was now getting real. 

The two weeks after the embryo transfer felt like they went at snail pace. The two women were both nervous. Chloe had brought three pregnancy tests in preparation. The wait was agonising but they tried to stay positive. On the morning of day 14, Chloe woke up early and went downstairs to make Beca a coffee. She returned upstairs and woke her wife. ‘’Hey sleepy head, time to wake up.’’

‘’Eurgh, what’s the time?’’. Beca replied, voice laced with sleep.

‘’six thirty’’. She waited for her wife to complain about the early morning but she hadn’t. ‘’Come on, lets go do the test’’.

Beca got up slowly and scooted to the edge of the bed. She pulled Chloe towards her and wrapped her arms around midriff. ‘’Right, lets do this.’’

The test was negative. They were both gutted. Beca had tried to stay positive for her wife. Chloe’s face said it all, she was upset. ‘’Dr. Jenson did say that we should do another test tomorrow if this one is negative. Just in case it was a little early.’’

The redhead let out a long sigh. ‘’Mmhmm’’. 

The second test was not needed, Chloe got her period the following day whilst at work. She cried when she got home and told her wife. A lot. She felt deflated. They had been told that although their chances of it being a success were relatively high, they shouldn’t get their hopes up that it would happen first try. Beca held her whilst she sobbed. Tried to reassure her. Of course she was disappointed too, but she wouldn’t show it, she had to stay strong for Chloe, after all they still had two more tries with this round of treatment. They would just have to hope that one of them worked.

Three months later they went through all the same processes again, and had the same outcome. Another negative pregnancy test. Sadness had turned into worry. After more blood work and ultrasounds, Dr. Jenson could not find a reason for the two failed attempts of IVF. She gave  
them hope for the third attempt.   
After getting the news that the third treatment hadn’t worked, both women were understandably upset. Beca had stayed as strong as she could for her wife, but deep down she was completely disappointed. 

Chloe was more inside her own head than Beca had ever seen her. She had called in sick to work every day for the past week, she had stayed in bed, although barely slept, only getting out to use the loo or to get a bottle of water from the fridge. She had barely eaten, not brushed her hair and Beca was certain she hadn’t brushed her teeth either. She looked awful.

On day nine, Beca couldn’t bare to look at her wife in this state any longer. She had spent hours over the last week or so trying to coax the redhead out of bed, tried to get her to talk about how she was feeling, she had even tried to simply hold her tight but was always pushed away. She decided now was time for some tough love, although she was petrified of how it would go down. 

She made her wife a pot of coffee and a sandwich and made her way up to their bedroom. She placed the tray on the dressing table and walked over to the windows to open the curtains.

‘’Close them’’ a grunt came from under the duvet.

‘’Nope, I am done seeing you like this. You are gonna get your ass up, eat some lunch and get a shower. Then you are going to come downstairs and you are going to talk to me.’’ Beca was stern. She needed to be.

‘’No’’

‘’I swear to god Chloe, if you don’t get up I am going to call your mom. Yeah I am pulling the mom card on you. I hate seeing you like this and if that is what it takes then that is what I will do.’’

Chloe started to fidget under the sheets. She peeked her head out, looking at Beca with furrowed brows. She had clearly been crying. The bags under her eyes were darker, her eyes were puffy and there were tear tracks running over her cheeks. She squinted her eyes looking over to Beca before finally speaking again. ‘’Leave me alone.’’ She spat out before burrowing back down under the duvet. 

‘’Nope not happening. I mean it Chlo, get up. You stink.’’ Beca gave the sheets a tug but the redhead was clinging to them tightly. She let out a loud huff before continuing. ‘’Right, well I’m going to phone your mum then. Like literally right now. I have my phone in my hand Chloe.’’

Chloe flew from under the sheets and out of the bed, leaning forward and snatching the phone from her wife’s hand. Her sad expression had been swapped for a look of pure anger. ‘’Stop treating me like a child.’’ she screamed in her wife’s face. 

Beca’s eyes widened, temper rising as she leant forward and shouted back at the redhead. ‘’Then stop fucking acting like one.’’ 

‘’You know what Beca, just get out. Get out of my fucking bedroom. NOW’’.

‘’No, It’s my bedroom too and I am staying here until get up, get showered and get your shit together’’. This tough love thing was hard for Beca but she didn’t see any other way around it.

‘’Get my shit together? My body has let me down. Just because you don’t care, doesn’t mean I won’t either’’. Her voice was loud and angry and filled with bitterness.   
‘’Don’t you fucking dare, of course I care’’. Beca screamed in Chloe’s face making her flinch. 

The atmosphere was immediately tense. Beca regretted raising her voice. She knew she had to tread lightly with Chloe when she was in a bad mood, but Beca had tried that, she was at a loss as to how to help the redhead and she hated it. She was hurting herself. She wanted a baby as much as her wife had. 

Both women were silent but caught in a stare off. Beca took a deep breath before taking a step back and losing eye contact as her head dropped to look at the floor. ‘’I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have shouted’’. It was barely a whisper, but she knew Chloe heard. The brunette kept her eyes on the ground as she fiddled with the ring on her thumb. She felt her wife move away from her, creating air between them.

As she pulled the sheets back open, the redhead climbed back into her bed. ‘’Please just leave me alone. I don’t want to look at you right now’’. Her voice was mono-tonal and emotionless.

Beca felt as though the air inside her lungs was trapped, like she couldn’t breathe. She made her way out of the bedroom, closing the door before leaning against it and sinking to the floor. With her head in her hands, she began to silently sob. There had been arguments before, Chloe had even spent the night in a hotel once before, but there had never been a fight like this. They had never screamed in each other faces. 

She made her way down the corridor and into the office. She had attempted to get on with some work that she knew needed doing before Monday but she couldn’t focus. All she could think about was their fight and how she just didn’t know how to fix her. It was her job to stop her from hurting but she was failing at that. Not knowing what else to do, she picked up her phone. She debated calling Chloe’s mother but had decided on someone else. Someone Chloe may actually listen to. 

The phone rang for quite some time before it was finally answered. ‘’Hey Aubrey.’’ 

Chloe was still so close to Aubrey. They may not see each other as often as they’d like but they were still best friends. Beca had also got quite close to the blonde. She just needed someone to talk to. Someone who may know how she can help get Chloe out of her current mind set. 

She explained everything to Aubrey. That the third round of IVF had not worked, that Chloe had barely surfaced since they had taken the pregnancy test, that they’d had the worst argument. She had told her how she was worried that she couldn’t say or do anything to make her feel better. 

Aubrey had listened to Beca and answered her with words of support. She tried to comfort her as best she could over the phone when the brunette could barely speak through tears. ''Listen Beca, you just have to give her time. She probably feels like a failure right now. It's been a long twelve months and it has taken it's toll on you both. Give her some space tonight and try again tomorrow.''

After saying their goodbye's, Beca went downstairs to make herself a coffee. She paused when walking past their bedroom, resting her ear against the door. It was silent. She knew that Aubrey was right, that she should just give her some space, at least until tomorrow. Taking a deep breath, she continued along the the corridor and down the stairs. Her stomach was rumbling but she didn't particuarly feel like eating. She knew if she didn't eat though, she would just be super grumpy, so grabbed a couple of cookies to have with her coffee. 

Beca felt totally drained. Her eyes were stinging from crying, her body ached from tension. The brunette took her self off for a shower before begrudgingly going off to spend the night in the guest bedroom. Chloe had said she didn't want to see her so she would follow that demand. 

Her exhaustion did nothing to help her fall asleep that night. Instead she led tossing and turning. 

In their bedroom, Chloe had cried her eyes dry. She was still angry, at herself for her body letting her down, at Beca for acting like she didn't care, at anything and everything that ran through her mind. 

Her phone buzzed at around 10pm. She had tried to ignore it, but when it vibrated with a third text, she figured she should probably check it. 

Aubrey: Chloe, Ring me. 

Aubrey: Right, well clearly you're ignoring me. I've had Beca on the phone. You are not the only one hurting you know. She is devasted too. Stop being selfish and talk to her. You need eachother right now.

Aubrey: I love you Chlo. You're my best friend, but you're being a real dick. Sort it out. 

Chloe felt angry at first, she was pissed that Beca would go behind her back and talk to Aubrey, but the more she re-read the messages, the more she felt a pang of guilt. Guilt for taking her anger out on her wife. Guilt for thinking that her wife didn't care. Guilt for starting an argument when she knew deep down that her wife would be trying to stay strong for her, because that's the type of women she was, she always put Chloe first. 

She sat herself up in bed, and with a deep breath, climbed out of bed and made her way to the guest bedroom. She knew Beca was in there as she had heard the door click shut around an hour ago. She opened the door quietly before calling out for her wife. ''Beca?'' Her voice almost cracking as a lump formed in her throat. ''Baby, I'm sorry'' and as she spoke the last word, her sobs escaped. 

Beca didn't think twice before jumping out of bed and wrapping the redhead in a tight hold. She rubbed her hard up and down Chloe's back, trying to calm her down. Her heart broke to see her like this. ''Chlo, do not apologise, we both said things we shouldn't have.''

As Chloe's sobs started to subside, she pulled away slightly from her wife. ''It's not just that, I'm sorry that I messed this all up. That we didn't get pregnant.''

Beca's heart sunk. She knew her wife would be blaming herself. ''No, stop that right now. Do not blame yourself. We can try again, Dr. Jenson said it was just one of those things. We just have a wait a while, give your body a break.''

The redhead shook her head and more tears spilled from her already puffy and stinging eyes. ''I can't Bec. What if it doesn't work? I want to have a family with you, more than anything, but i don't think i can put myself through it all again.'' She looked deep into her wife's eyes, begging her to understand. The guilt was destroying her. 

Beca was thinking, she knew she meant what she was about to say, but it was a massive deal. ''What if I do it?'' 

A minute or so passed, although it felt longer, without either of them saying a word. Chloe was shocked. Had she heard Beca correctly? She was convinced she had dreamt it. When they agreed to start a family, it was agreed that Chloe would go through pregnancy, because however much Beca wanted to have children with her wife, she really wasn't comfortable with the thought of pregnancy and labour. She acted tough, but she didn't handle pain or illness well at all, so it filled her with zero confidence that she would be able to deal with pregnancy. 

''Bec, what? I thought....but....what....?''

Beca grabbed a hold of Chloe's hands and held them tight, looking into her eyes. ''I mean it babe, I'll do it. It kinda petrifies me, but I've said it hundreds of times....I feel like i can achieve anything when you're by my side''.

Chloe let out a huge puff of air that he didn't know she was holding. ''You'd do that, for us?'' she questioned. 

Beca simply smiled and nodded before she was pulled into one of Chloe's bone crushing embraces.

They stayed up late that night and discussed everything. There were tears, and apologies. Chloe eventually had a shower and Beca changed the bed sheets before they got into bed that night. They cuddled in close to each other, and both slept better than they in almost a year. 

Several weeks passed, the two women had agreed that they wouldn't even start with the first appointment at the clinic until Beca had finished her most recent project at work. She was producing a single for a new artist and she wanted to be as stress free as possible until it was done. 

They went through the same processes as they had last time. They'd chosen a new donor, Beca insisting that they chose a redhead. The brunette had her hormones supressed for a fortnight before the injections started to boost her egg production. She hated the injections, she couldn't do them herself, but Chloe was basically an expert at them with having done her own three times. 

They didn't let themselves get excited when they received the call that several of her eggs had fertilised with the donor sperm, meaning they could be monitored and only the strongest one would be implanted. 

Two days before they were due to take the pregnancy test, Beca had woken up feeling weird. Her nipples were super sensitive, and she felt nauseous. She didn't say anything to Chloe, she didn't want to get her hopes up, but part of her knew. Neither of them mentioned anything about the possibilities over the following 48 hours. 

Sitting in the bathroom, waiting for the test to finish developing, Beca turned to look at Chloe. She was physically shaking. She took a hold of the redheads hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. ''You Ok babe?'' Chloe simply nodded. 

Just as the brunette was about to speak again, the timer they set on Chloe's phone started to sound. ''You ready?''

''I think so.''

Both took a deep breath before exhaling shakily. Beca grabbed the pregnancy test and turned it over. A single tear escaped each of her deep blue eyes, before she looked over to the still shaking redhead at her side. ''There's two lines. It's positive''.  
Chloe pulled Beca close, moved her hands up and placed them on the brunettes cheeks, before their lips crashed into eachothers in a passion filled kiss. Pulling back for air, the redhead looked deep into Beca's eyes. She couldn't love this women more if she tried. ''We're gonna have a baby'' she whispered with a watery chuckle


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favourite chapter. Just saying :)

Pregnancy was relatively easy on Beca. She had suffered with morning sickness well into her second trimester which was not fun. It had taken all her energy most days, left her with her head in a bin, a bucket or down a toilet multiple times a day. After the sickness stopped, her body started growing at a rapid rate. Her bump was growing day by day, and by the end of the pregnancy, she felt like she was rounder than she was tall. It was all worth it though. 

Sat at home, looking down at her three day old baby whilst she was breast feeding, her heart was fit to burst with pure love for the tiny human laying in her arms. She never thought she could love anyone more than Chloe, but she did. 

The first few weeks of pregnancy were a breeze for Beca. She had felt more tired, but it had just meant that she went to bed a couple of hours earlier than usual. She was nauseous several times a day, but hadn’t actually been sick. She worked out early on that she could suppress it simply by having something small to eat. There was a stash of cookies in her bag at all times. She felt amazing though. 

They paid out to have an early scan at 8 weeks. It was for reassurance more than anything. They were desperate to tell their family but wanted to make sure that everything was OK. The scan had gone well and the baby was measuring up perfectly. Driving home from the scan, Beca had gone quiet. Chloe looked over at her wife in the passenger seat and saw her staring at the scan pictures. ‘’All seeming very real now huh?’’. She wasn’t used to her wife being so quiet. Beca had changed over the years, she always talked to the redhead about things that were scaring her these days.

Beca took a deep breath before finally speaking. ‘’Chlo, is it meant to look like a prawn?’’

The redhead burst into laughter. ‘’Really babe? A prawn?’’ 

‘’Don’t laugh at me, it really does. Look...’’ she all but shoved the scan photo in front of her wife’s face. ‘’See’’.

Chloe let out another giggle and rolled her eyes.‘’Babe I’m driving’’.

The rest of the journey was filled with chat. They had discussed how they would tell their parents. Since they wanted to tell them at the same time, to avoid any aggravation of who knew first, they agreed that the only feasible way would be to have Chloe’s parents and Beca’s mother on Skype, and her father and step mother on face-time on her phone. When they arrived home, they sent them all a quick text asking them to be available at 7pm that night. Messages were replied to relatively quickly, so now all they had to do what put the plan in place. 

‘’I think party poppers might be a bit much babe. Don’t wanna go giving anyone a heart attack do we?’’ 

Chloe scrunched up her face. ‘’ You’re no fun’’.

The rest of the evening was spent lolling around the house. Beca took a short nap on the sofa around four in order to actually make it to seven when they put their plan into place. When she woke up, she took a quick shower in their en suite and put on clean clothes. The bloating over the last few days had been ridiculous, she could no longer comfortably wear her super skinny jeans so had decided on a pair of sweats and the baby on board t-shirt Chloe had asked her to wear. Her wife had brought it the day after the pregnancy test came back positive. It was white with bright orange writing and polka dots on the sleeves. It was so very Chloe and a colour the brunette would NEVER choose to wear, but she knew how happy it would make her wife to see her wearing it. 

She walked downstairs to see that Chloe had set up each of their laptops on the coffee table. There was a bottle of water next to each of them and a plate of cookies between them. Beca smiled. She walked over to her wife and wrapped her arms around her waist before kissing her on the cheek. ‘’Right, you ready?’’

‘’Oh yeah’’.

They sat down on the sofa next to each other, clicking onto Skype on their laptop, each calling their parents. Beca set her phone on a stand and called her mother on face-time. Chloe’s mom answered almost immediately, followed closely by Beca’s mom. It took a little longer for Beca’s dad to answer but he did eventually. 

‘’So I guess you guys are wondering why we’re calling you all at the same time’’. Chloe was grinning ear to ear and her eyes were shiny so brightly that Beca was convinced they almost sparkled. She loved just how happy all this was making her wife. The pain she had gone through a few months ago was soon forgotten and they were closer than ever.

Beca was getting fidgety, she could hardly sit still with excitement. She knew each of their parents would be ecstatic for them She looked over to Chloe, then at each of the screens before she blurted it out. ‘’ We’re pregnant’’. 

There were squeals, tears and congratulations. Even an ‘Am I even old enough to be a grandfather?’ said with a laugh. 

They hadn’t discussed with their family that it was Beca going through the treatment this time, they wanted to keep the entire thing to themselves just in case it hadn’t worked out. They were all gutted for the couple had gone through what they had months previous. 

Beca’s step mom was the first to ask, ‘’ So Chloe, how far gone are you?’’

Followed closely by Mrs. Beale exclaiming ‘’My baby is having a baby’’.

Chloe and Beca looked at each other and laughed before looking back to the screens to see confused faces looking back at them. 

Beca pulled her cardigan open before speaking. Beca suddenly realised that the writing was a mirror image over Skype so the writing was back to front. She face palmed herself gently before pointing it out to Chloe. Both started to giggle again. ‘’Umm, OK, so we didn’t think this through properly. But umm, It’s me that is pregnant, and we are 8 weeks along.’’

There was a moment of surprise before yet again more squealing and more congratulations. They each knew that their parents would be over the moon to become grandparents, however they were both shocked when Beca’s mum burst into tears of happiness. Although she had been fully supportive of the couple, she was always quite closed off. More like the old Beca, the apple definitely hadn’t fallen far from the tree. 

‘’You alright Mom?’’ Beca questioned in a soft voice. 

‘’Yes darling, I am just so incredibly proud of you. Of you both. I can’t believe I am finally going to be a Nana.’’

Conversations continued for a further ten minutes or so, lots of questions fired at them both and promise of free babysitting before they finally all said their goodbyes. 

Chloe closed both the laptops before falling back into the couch and snuggling up to her wife. ‘’I can’t believe we forgot that the writing on the shirt would be back to front for them’’ she said with a light giggle before leaning over and kissing the brunette. 

The kiss quickly became passionate. Beca moved to straddle the redhead without breaking their kiss. Chloe’s hands gripped lightly on her wife’s hips in order to hold her close. As the kiss intensified, hands started to wonder. Chloe slowly pushed her hands up under the hem of Beca’s shirt before lifting it up over her head and throwing it to the ground beside them. Beca latched her lips onto the redheads neck, while Chloe’s hands began to explore again. 

They hadn’t had sex since just before Beca received treatment, although Dr. Jenson had informed them that sex during pregnancy is a perfect natural thing, they had abstained so far through fear or causing any problems during the earlier weeks. 

Chloe moved her hands up and cupped her wife’s breast before giving it a gentle squeeze. The brunette immediately pulled back and winced. ‘’Shit Beca, I’m so sorry, did I hurt you?’’

‘’A little. Actually no, a lot.’’ She closed her eyes and clenched her fists until the pain subsided. Upon opening her eyes she could see that Chloe looked beyond worried. ‘’It’s fine, It’s just….my nipples. They’re really sore.’’ she scrunched up her face and pulled her fingers through her own hair before continuing. ‘’Sorry, that’s probably a right turn off.’’

Chloe leant forward, wrapped her arms around Beca’s waist and kissed the top of her breast softly, making sure not to put any real pressure on it to prevent Beca any further pain. ‘’Nothing about you could ever be a turn off.’’ she whispered as she lifted her head and planted a kiss onto the brunettes pouted lips. 

The kiss intensified once again. Chloe was desperate to touch her wife but didn’t want to hurt her again. She moved her right hand behind Beca and traced her spine up and down with her finger. She moved her lips from her wife’s and kissed across her jaw line, and down to her pulse point. She knew what this did for Beca. Within seconds the brunette had her fingers wrapped around the hair at the base of Chloe’s skull causing the redhead to let out a low moan that vibrated against Beca’s pulse point. Beca pulled away instantly.

Chloe immediately removed her hands from her wife. ‘’ You OK sweet?’’

Beca had a facial expression that Chloe hadn’t seen before. ‘’Yeah…….sorry’’. She audibly gulped before lurching forward to kiss her wife. Yet again she pulled away. ‘’Nope, not OK.’’. Suddenly her hand raised to her mouth as she let out a loud heave. She scrambled to get off of the redheads lap in an attempt to run to the downstairs bathroom. She barely made it before opening the lid of the toilet, leaning down and throwing up. 

Following after Beca, Chloe stood next to her, pulled her hair back out of her face and rubbed her back, trying to comfort her. 

Beca had heave and vomited so much that she had began to cry a little. She was not good with puke at all, she knew that it could eventually turn up but it had taken her by complete surprise tonight. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve before grabbing some toilet paper and wiping her mouth. Looking round at Chloe, eyes still glistening with tears. ‘’Still not a turn off eh?’’ she said with a watery giggle.

The next three months went by reasonably quick. Beca had really suffered with morning sickness. It had taken a lot of her energy but she was busy at work so couldn’t let it effect her. Chloe hadn’t let her lift a finger at home unless it was totally necessary. She knew how awful her wife felt, she knew how much the sickness was taking it out of her and she also knew how hard Beca worked so wanted her to just relax once she got home each day. 

The twenty week scan went well. The baby was growing perfectly. They were asked if they wanted to find out the gender but they’d already agreed that they wanted it to be kept a surprise. 

Once the sickness dissipated at just shy of twenty four weeks, her bump grew rapidly. People always commented on the size of it, and often rubbed her bump without her asking. 

She walked through the front door one evening when she was thirty two weeks pregnant, slamming it behind her and letting out a loud sigh. She removed her shoes and dragged her feet into the lounge before easing herself down on the sofa next to Chloe who was typing away on her laptop.

Glancing over at a very pissed off Beca, Chloe placed her hand on the brunettes thigh. ‘’What’s up grump?’’

Beca let out a huge sigh. ‘’People keep touching me and I don’t want them touching me. Like why do they think it’s acceptable to just rub my belly? And I’m fat and it’s too hot and I ache all over. Oh and did I mention people keep touching me?’’

‘’You’re not fat babe.’’

‘’Pffft, have you seen me naked recently?’’ she scoffed. 

‘’Yes, I have actually.’’ Chloe replied with a cheeky grin on her face.

‘’Eurgh, pervert’’.

Chloe rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the small laughed that left her. She moved her laptop to the coffee table and motioned for her wife to lay down on the sofa before lifting Beca’s legs up to rest of them on her own. ‘’Babe, you really need to stop stressing out. It wouldn’t be the worst idea if you started maternity leave a bit earlier you know’’.

Beca knew that Chloe was right. She had come home every night for weeks and just complained constantly. She really wasn’t doing much at work other than wrapping things up before she officially started maternity leave, and it wasn’t anything that she couldn’t do at home. 

The next week she started leave ten days earlier than planned. 

Beca felt a lot more relaxed once she had settled into maternity leave. She took a nap whenever she needed it, wore more comfortable clothes, which usually consisted of just a wireless bra and girl boxers. She was always over heated, and since she spent most of her time around the house, it really didn’t matter if she wore clothes or not. 

Chloe had returned early one afternoon from work to find her wife in just her underwear, star-fished on the bed, two fans blowing at her face full speed and a baby book opened and resting on her large baby bump. The redhead found it adorable and hilarious at the same time, and didn’t think twice about snapping a photo. 

They had already read all the baby books they’d brought at the start of the pregnancy, but Beca was going over them again whist on leave. She wanted to be as prepared as she possibly could. 

Chloe would often wake at night to the sound of her wife chatting away in a quiet whisper to their baby as she gently stroked her ever expanding bump. Her heart melted every single time. She never thought it was possible to love Beca as much as she did right now. She was in awe of the bond she so clearly had with their baby already and couldn’t wait to see how she was with the baby once it was born. 

There was one night when Beca was thirty seven weeks pregnant where she was particularly fidgety in bed, so much so that it had woken Chloe. The red head sat herself up in bed and turned on the bed side lamp. 

‘’You OK babe?’’ 

‘’Yeah, I’m fine’’. Beca’s voice cracked slightly. 

Chloe rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, lent over on her left side and glanced over to Beca. She immediately noticed the tear that fell from her wife’s eye and she felt somewhat panicked. What could possible have happened for the brunette to be crying. ‘’Hey, why are you upset? What’s happened?’’ 

‘’I’m just being stupid. It’s fine. Go back to sleep.’’ 

‘’Talk to me’’. She rubbed her hand up and down the brunettes bare arm.

Beca took a deep breath and attempted to scoot herself up the bed slightly to sit herself up. Another tear escaped her eye as she took a deep breath. ‘’Chlo, what if I’m rubbish at it….At being mama. Or like, what if our baby doesn’t like me?’’ 

‘’Are you kidding me? Oh my goodness Beca, you are going to be the best mama any baby could wish for. You already are. Whenever you sing, the baby kicks and whenever you rub your bump and speak to the baby, it calms down instantly. You already have the strongest bond with out baby, and they are going to love you just as much if not more than I love you’’. It seemed to calm Beca. She knew from Chloe’s expression that she was telling the truth and not just making things up to please her. 

Chloe was lucky that Beca’s due date fell a couple of weeks into the summer holiday, meaning she had the entire summer off and then her leave started as the children were due to go back to school. They had spent the last couple of weeks getting everything ready. Packing and re-packing Beca’s hospital bag, rewashing all the baby’s clothes and setting up the nursery. They had everything they needed, now as just a waiting game for the baby to make it’s appearance. 

Beca was so over being pregnant. Since her bump had dropped, she was struggling more than ever to get about. She had often relied on the redhead to help her up off the bed, the sofa and even the loo. It was embarrassing. She was so desperate to get the baby out that she had attempted a few different old wives tales. She ate three pineapples one afternoon. It did nothing bar give her heartburn. She had eaten a spicy curry for dinner every night for the last four days, she didn’t even like curry. She debated sex, she had read multiple articles online that suggest having an orgasm could help bring on labour….yeah that wasn’t happening. She hadn’t even seen her on vagina in months, there was no way she was letting Chloe anywhere near there whilst she felt she looked so gross. 

‘’Why don’t we go for a walk today? That might get things going’’. Chloe suggested. She had told her wife multiple times that the baby would arrive when it was good and ready, but she figured a walk and some fresh air would do them both the world of good. They’d spent way too much time indoors over the last couple of weeks. 

Beca agreed. She hated having to ask for help but she could barely dress herself and definitely could not put on her shoes by herself, luckily Chloe was always more than willing. They went on their walk and although it was hard work for the brunette, they had managed to take a five kilometre stroll. 

As they were walking through the door of their house, Chloe turned to bed and kissed her on the cheek. ‘’Right, upstairs, go lay on the bed and I will bring you up a sandwich’’.

‘’You’re bossy, you know that?’’ Beca smirked. She liked to wind her wife up but she actually loved that she was looking after her. 

‘’Yep, now go.’’

Beca did as she was told. Smiling as she did. She kicked off her shoes, unable to untie them herself, and pulled off her shirt as she was slightly over heating. The brunette waddled over to the bed, climbed on top of it, leant over to turn on the fan and eased herself backwards to lay with her head on her pillows. Her eyes were heavy and almost instantly she fell asleep. 

Having made her wife a sandwich, Chloe walked up the stairs to their bedroom. She saw instantly that Beca had fallen asleep. She rolled her eyes and smiled. ‘i bloody knew that would happen’ she thought to herself. The redhead put the sandwich on the bedside table with the bottle of water she had also brought up. She wasn’t going to wake Beca, she knew she needed all the rest she could get before the baby arrived. 

Chloe decided to get onto the bed with Beca, figuring she could also get a little nap in whilst her wife did. It wasn’t only the brunette that was getting broken sleep most nights recently. She was a light sleeper, which resulting in her waking every time Beca so much as turned in bed. She eyes closed and her body felt heavy with sleep reasonably quickly. She didn’t snuggle into the brunette like she normally would, she knew it would just get too hot and neither of them would be comfortable. 

Chloe didn’t know how long she had been asleep, but when she woke she noticed that the space next to her in bed was no longer occupied. Just as she was stretching her arms above her head with a big yawn, she heard Beca call her. It was coming from the bathroom. 

‘’Chlo…….Chlo……...Chloe’’. Beca’s voice got louder. There was a sound of panic to it. Before the redhead could answer, she heard an almighty scream. She took off running to the en suite, almost tripping over her wife’s trainers as she did. She bounded through the bathroom door without even thinking that Beca might be behind it. Luckily she wasn’t. ‘’What’s wrong, what’s happened?’’

‘’Chloe it fucking huuuuuurts’’. She held her hand out for Chloe to grab. Chloe rushed over to her. ‘’Shit, go careful, my water broke.’’ 

Chloe almost skidded across the bathroom floor but managed to keep her balance as she grabbed a hold of Beca’s hand. ‘’ Right, how many contractions have you had?’’ She asked giving Beca’s hand a reassuring squeeze. 

‘’Ummm, only like seven or eight, but the pain is getting worse.’’ Beca knew that she was rubbish with pain, and she knew that labour would be the worst pain she had ever felt, she thought she was prepared for that, but right now it didn’t seem that way.

‘’Why the hell didn’t you wake me? When did they start?’’

‘’The first few hardly hurt, I thought maybe it was braxton hicks. You know, those things we read about in the book. Like false labour, and….and you just looked peaceful sleeping, I didn’t want to disturb you.’’ Beca began to cry. 

Chloe moved her hands and placed them on the brunettes shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze. ‘’Baby, I’m sorry I shouted but you should have told me after the first one. We need to make a note of how regular they are and how long each one lasts before we go off to the hospital.’’

Beca nodded. ‘’I’ve already made note, it’s on the si … Arrrrghh shit shit shit, Chloeeeeeee’’. She was bent over in pain, clutching at her bump. 

Chloe did her best to try and keep her calm, rubbing circles on her back whilst her other arm kept her from falling. ‘’Jesus Christ, how close are these?’’. She grabbed the piece of paper from under the pen on the sink and looked down at Beca’s scribbles. The last 3 were only around 5 minutes apart and without looking at the phone also placed on the sink, she knew it was around the same of less since the last one. ‘’Right, we are getting you to the hospital. Let me get these leggings and underwear off you, they’re drenched’’. Chloe was already leaning down to pull down her wife’s clothes. 

Beca nodded and allowed Chloe to undress her. She made her way back into the bedroom, leaning on her wide for support. They’d had to stop just out of the doorway as the brunette once again got through a contraction. ‘’Chlo, why does it hurt so much? I feel my uterus is going to fall out of my arsehole’’. Yet again she started to cry. 

‘’Baby, you’re doing amazing. I know it hurts, but once we get to the hospital you can have pain relief and it won’t be so painful. I promise’’. Her wife’s face screwed up, and she leant forward, holding her bump, letting out a loud cry. ‘’Another?’’

Beca nodded through the pain. Finally speaking once the contraction faded, eyes wide with fear. ‘’Babe, I think I need to push.’’

‘’Do not push.’’

‘’I need to Chlo.’’ Beca managed to shout out before another contraction hit. 

Chloe continued to rub her wife’s lower back, whilst reaching onto the bed to grab her phone. She didn’t have time to panic, and it would do no good to the situation even if she did. She knew she had to stay calm for Beca. She dialled 911 and asked for an ambulance. 

‘’My wife is in labour, and her contractions are only about three minutes apart, lasting at least one minute each. She says she needs to push. You need to get here like right now.’’

The operator was a calm gentleman, he asked for their address and then asked a few questions. He assured her that an ambulance would be with them as soon as possible. He heard Beca screaming through the pain of the contractions and told Chloe to make sure she was safely on the bed laying down. 

Another contraction washed over her Beca as she attempted to scoot back onto the bed. ‘’Chloe, I’ve gotta push.’’

Chloe had left the phone on loud speaker as the operator continued to talk to her. ‘’Mrs. Mitchell, I would suggest that if your wife feels the urge to push, then she should do just that. You will need to help her bend her knees so that you can see what is going on. When she gets her next contraction, let her push.’’

‘’What? But the ambulance isn’t here. How long is it going to be?’’

‘’It is flagged up as being eleven minutes away. It will be there as soon as it possibly can.’’

Just as the operator finished his sentence, Beca got another contraction.

‘’OK baby, chin to your chest, like we learnt in the classes. Little pushes remember.’’ Chloe tried to be as calm as she could, but she was petrified and her voice was shaky. ‘’You’re doing amazing Bec’’.

‘’Chloe it hurts, I can’t, I can’t do it’’. Beca looked more terrified than Chloe felt. 

‘’You can, I’m right here. Remember what you said...You can do anything with me by your side. I’m not going anywhere I promise.’’

There were three more contractions, practically one after the other. Beca looked exhausted but she didn’t give up. The operator was still talking them through it, offering plenty of reassurance.

‘’Shit, I can see the head. Where the hell is that ambulance?’’

The line went quiet for a few seconds. ‘’Mrs. Mitchell, the ambulance is still five minutes away. There has been an accident and the paramedics have had to use an alternative route. I promise they will be there as soon as they can.’’

With that Beca began pushing again and within seconds the baby’s head was fully out. She was panting like they’d told her in the classes before pushing again. She took a deep breath before placing her chin on her chest once again and gave the biggest push she possibly could. Her scream of pain was horrific before the room suddenly fell silent and Beca flopped back onto the bed. A few seconds passed before the tiniest cry filled the room. 

‘’It’s a girl’’. Chloe whispered, staring down at the tiny in her arms. ‘’Beca, we have a daughter.’’  
‘’Mrs. Mitchell, I gather by the sound that the baby is breathing. You need to place the baby on your wife, skin to skin. Get the sheet you got earlier and place that over the baby too. The paramedics are right outside. They will be with you any second. Congratulations.’’

Chloe didn’t even respond, just did as she was told as the phone line went dead. Beca sat up as much as she could, tears streaming down her face as she looked at their daughter. She kissed her head softly before looking up into the redheads eyes. 

The paramedics must have let themselves in downstairs as before either knew what was happening, there was a knock at the bedroom door. Chloe let them in. They immediately checked over the baby and let Chloe cut the cord. They suggested the redhead take the baby whilst Beca delivered the placenta. 

They took Beca into the hospital just as a precaution and Chloe stayed by her side. Everything was a bit of a blur. Neither expected labour and delivery to be that quick. In the hospital Beca and the baby were given the once over. The brunette received three stitches but was otherwise in good health and the baby girl was perfect, weighing in at 6lb 2oz. Neither women could stop staring at their newborn. 

Chloe had excused herself from the room to ring their families and close friends and tell them the news. It felt like it took forever and she just wanted to be back, next to her girls.

‘’You were so amazing Beca. I’m so incredibly proud of you.’’ There were tears escaping the redheads face as she simply watched her wife with their daughter. 

‘’I couldn’t have done it without you babe.’’ Beca looked exhausted but she was still wearing a smile. A smile Chloe had never seen before. She simply glowed. ‘’ please can you help me?’’ She asked motioning to hospital gown she was wearing. ‘’ I think she’s hungry’’. 

Beca was positive the entire pregnancy that she was going to bottle feed but now their daughter was here, she was adamant that she wanted to attempt breast feeding. 

Chloe hated that she had to leave her girls at the hospital that night. She didn’t want them out of her sight but visiting hours were over and she was reassured that Beca would be allowed home tomorrow. She went home and cleaned up, putting clean sheets on the bed and disinfecting the bathroom floor had a shower before getting into bed that night, but sleep did not come easily. Her bed felt empty. 

The following day, Chloe packed the car seat into the car before making her way to the hospital to pick up her wife and daughter. 

Chloe drove home excruciatingly slowly from the hospital. She wanted to be as safe as possible. The brunette had made fun of her but was secretly relieved as she knows she would have been exactly the same.

She pulled up into the driveway, put the car in park before racing to the passenger door to help Beca out of the car. It took her a little longer than normal as she was in quite a bit of pain from the small tear during labour. Chloe then opened the back door, unbuckled the car seat and carried it out of the car.

Chloe took a deep breath and looked over to her wife. ‘’You ready Mama?’’ She smiled at Beca who was reflecting the same one back at her.

‘’Yeah Mommy, are you?’’

Chloe nodded before they slowly walked up to the front door. She unlocked it quickly and held the door open for the brunette. They stepped inside and shut the door quietly behind them.

‘’Welcome home Aria’’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI, the name Aria means ‘gentle music’. I thought it was quite fitting.


	6. chapter 6

Both Beca and Chloe revelled in becoming parents. Their teeny tiny baby girl was a blessing. The first few weeks of her life were spent staring at her, watching her sleep, smelling that new baby smell. She looked just like her Mama. Thick dark brown hair, pale skin and dainty features. Beca was mildly disappointed that she didn’t inherit the red hair from the sperm donor, she had wanted her to match Chloe, but Aria was still perfect. She was calm, she rarely cried, and if she did, it was only because she was hungry or needed her diaper changed. 

There were lots of visitors, family and friends. Everyone brought gifts, more than they knew what to do with. Chloe’s parents had spent three days with them when Aria was six days old. They were amazing. They had stayed at a local hotel, even though Chloe and Beca had promised they were welcome to stay at their house. They didn’t want to crowd them, they knew how important this bonding time was for the new family. They visited daily, had cleaned, done laundry and cooked dinners. They cooed over their newest grand daughter, but they never took over. Both women totally appreciated it. 

However, it was a whole different story when Beca’s father and step mother visited. Aria was five weeks old when they eventually came to meet her. Beca was happy that they had finally come, they were the first of her own side of the family to make the trip over to LA. Beca and Sheila had had their moments over the years, a few arguments, plenty of disagreements and even an entire year where they hadn’t spoken a single word to each other, but things were so much better now. They weren’t close, but Beca considered her family. The term ‘step-monster’ hadn’t been spoken in years. 

The first two days were great, her father and step mother tried to help out as much as they could. Sheila mainly holding the baby whilst Chloe and Beca got things done. Day three saw Beca getting silently frustrated with the women. She had made a couple of off handed comments that Beca didn’t appreciate. She felt like her parenting skills were being questioned. Sitting in bed that night, feeding their daughter, Beca explained it to Chloe. 

‘’Babe, do you think we hold Aria enough? Like when she’s sleepy….’’. She paused for a second looking up to the redheads confused facial expression. ‘’Are we doing the right thing by letting her self soothe. Am I mean for doing it?’’

Chloe’s brow furrowed further. She laid down the book she was reading before turning back to look at her wife. ‘’Where’s this coming from?’’ she asked. 

Beca let out a small puff of air and looked back down to Aria before gently stroking her cheek. ‘’Sheila made a comment. I’d just finished feeding and put her down in the moses basket. Sheila walked straight over and picked her up and said I was a bad Mama for putting her down.’’

Chloe scooted closer to Beca. She leant over kissing her wife on the forehead and then leaning down to kiss their daughter. ‘’Bec, look at me.’’ she put her finger under the brunettes chin and lifted it. ‘’Don’t ever let me hear you question what you’re doing. You are amazing and any child would be lucky to have you as their Mama. Please ignore Sheila. She probably didn’t mean it as it sounded.’’

Beca sighed and nodded. She stayed silent, looking down at their sleeping baby in her arms. She had finished feeding and was in her own little milk coma. Both women smiled at the content look on her face. 

‘’Bec, I’ll burp her and put her down. Come on, you look exhausted.’’ she spoke quietly, holding out her arms waiting to be handed the baby. She took Aria in her arms and held her close for a short time before resting her on her lap and rubbing her back to help bring up her wind. By the time Aria had brought up her wind, Beca was fast asleep next to her. 

Chloe stepped out of the bed and placed their daughter into her crib that was on her side of the bed. Although Beca was exclusively breast feeding, Chloe always got up with them for night feeds. She wanted to be supportive to her wife. She would be the one who got up and got their daughter out of her crib when she woke. She would comfort their daughter until Beca was sat up, had her nursing pillow set up and made herself comfortable enough to breastfeed. It was their routine and it worked. The redhead absolutely loved watching her wife feeding their baby. She could feel the love that radiated from Beca towards Aria, whilst she was feeding her. She really was a natural. Chloe could never fathom how for years Beca wasn’t sure she ever wanted children, because watching her now, it was like it was what Beca was always meant to do. 

Beca didn’t sleep well that night. Usually between feeds she was out for the count, but she was restless. She woke early that morning and decided to take Aria downstairs with her, leaving Chloe to catch up on some sleep. Aria was content so Beca decided to put her in her moses basket in the lounge whilst she went to the kitchen to make herself a coffee. 

Walking back into the lounge, she saw Sheila and her father sat on the sofa, Aria in her step mothers arms. She hadn’t heard them come down. ‘’Oh, was she crying? I didn’t hear her.’’ 

‘’No dear.’’ Sheila spoke matter of factly. She looked back down at her granddaughter before speaking again. ‘’ That mean Mama put you down again didn’t she sweetheart.’’

Beca was slightly pissed. Aria had been close to sleep, but now looked wide awake. She didn’t want to deny anyone a cuddle with her, but herself and Chloe were trying really hard to make sure Aria didn’t rely on being held all day. They may have been on leave but they still had things to do around the house. Then there was that comment again, it made Beca’s heart sink. She decided not to say anything, this was her father and step mother grandchild so she thought it best not to cause an argument, plus they would be gone in a few days and they could get back to their routine afterwards. 

‘’So, ummm, would you mind keeping an eye on her. I’m just gonna go see if Chloe is awake and grab a really quick shower. If she starts crying, just shout….she may want feeding’’. Beca figured she would use them being around to her advantage. Sheila and her father agreed.

Beca turned and made her way out of the room and up the stairs, coffee in hand. She walked into the bedroom and noticed that Chloe was still in the land of nod. She must have been exhausted, she never slept past 6am and it was now 7:30am. She slowly eased herself onto the bed and scooted her body over to press against the back of her wife’s, draping an arm over the waist and pulling her in closer to her. She moved the redhead’s hair from her left shoulder and placed a soft kiss on bare skin next to the strap of her tank top. 

Chloe’s eyes fluttered opened slightly. ‘’ Mmm Bec?’’ she whispered.

‘’Shhh, go back to sleep babe.’’ 

Beca somehow nodded off within a few minutes. 

Chloe woke an hour or so later with a smile on her face. She felt more refreshed than she had since before Aria was born. She manoeuvred herself, Beca’s arm still draped over her, to face the brunette. ‘’Morning beautiful.’’ she whispered before placing a kiss on Beca’s lips. 

Beca immediately woke with a smile on her face. 

‘’Where’s Aria?’’

‘’Downstairs with the step monster.’’ 

Chloe let out a little giggle. ‘’Not heard you call her that in a long time.’’

‘’Urgh, well she is pissing me off. She called me mean again, and she got Aria out of the moses basket this morning just as she was falling asleep.’’ Beca’s tone was still sleepy, but it had a slight edge on annoyance to it. 

‘’They will be gone in a few days. She probably just wants to spoil her whilst she can...And I am sure she didn’t mean to offend you. You know what she is like babe, I swear that women doesn’t think before she speaks’’.

Beca knew Chloe was right. She was probably over reacting. Beca let out a sigh before rolling over on to her back before sitting up and stretching. ‘’Right come on, lets go get our baby, she must be due a feed.’’

Both women got out of bed and Chloe through on a hoody before making their way downstairs hand in hand. As they reached the bottom step, Chloe pulled Beca round to face her and planted a soft kiss on her lips. ‘’I love you’’. Beca simply smiled in return. 

They both went into the kitchen and Beca called out to ask if her father or Sheila wanted a coffee. Both answered with a ‘Yes please’. 

After finishing the coffees, they each picked up two mugs each and walked through to the lounge. Chloe stopped in her tracks and her eyes widened before she looked round to Beca who clearly hadn’t noticed yet. ‘’Bec’’.

The brunette had her eyes pinned on the mugs of coffee in her hands, she knew she was clumsy and was trying her hardest not to spill any on the carpet. She almost bumped into the back of Chloe before she heard her name. Raising her eyes from the mugs, she looked at her wife who was staring over to the sofa. She followed her eyes, a slight lump forming in her throat at the look of panic on the redheads face. Then she noticed. The lump suddenly gone and anger suddenly bubbling in her chest. Her body immediately shaking. ‘’What. The. Fuck!’’ she shouted as one of the mugs of coffee slipped from her grip. She hardly noticed it though. Anger so prominent in her mind that she couldn’t feel the hot liquid that splashed up her leg and was now burning the skin on her lower leg and bare foot. ‘’What are you doing? Take that bottle out of her mouth now’’. 

Her temper wasn’t fading and Chloe could have sworn she could hear Beca’s heart beating out of her chest nest to her. The redhead immediately tried to grabbed Beca’s hand but it was pushed away. She knew that Beca would be seething. She had worked so hard to breastfeed their daughter. She had witnessed her balling her eyes out when her nipples were cracked, bleeding and sore, she had witnessed the saddened expressions when Aria was struggling to latch, she had witnessed her overcome all of this and continue to breastfeed because she loved the connection it gave her with their daughter. 

Sheila looked at Beca in pure disgust. ‘’Beca, do you really have to swear around her? I don’t think it’s very appropriate, do you?’’

Beca almost growled in response. How dare she talk to her like that yet again. It was condescending and rude. ‘’Get that bottle out of her mouth now.’’ she said, glaring at her step mother. 

‘’Calm down dear, you were sleeping. She needed feeding.’’ 

‘’I told you to shout for me’’.

Seeing the tears spring to Beca’s eyes, her father stood up and made his way over to her.‘’Beca, darling, Sheila just thought you could catch up on some sleep’’. His voice was gentle, trying to calm her. 

‘’Dad, Aria does NOT have a bottle and SHE...’’, she pointed over to her step mother. ‘’She knows that.’’

‘’Right, but she was just trying to help.’’

Beca tried to breathe through her anger, but it was bubbling up again inside of her. She was fuming. 

‘’Yes Beca, I was trying to help. I don’t understand why you are so upset’’. Sheila gently rocked the baby in her arms.

Chloe had stayed quiet the entire time, she stood close to her wife to show her support but she didn’t want to say anything that might disrespect her in laws. Beca was doing what she felt right in that situation so Chloe had let her take the lead. Now though, she had had enough. She stormed over to Sheila and took Aria from her. She was met with a glare from the women before she turned and placed Aria in her moses basket.

‘’You are not helping. How did you even find the bottles and formula? They were in the back of the cupboard for an emergency. Did you even sterilise that thing?’’ Beca’s voice was lowered but was still laced with anger.

‘’Of course I sterilised it, I’m not stupid’’. Sheila retorted. Beca’s father looked between the two of them. He looked uneasy, as if he didn’t know what to do or say.

‘’Well clearly you are because you knew I was exclusively breast feeding.’’

Sheila scoffed and rolled her eyes. ‘’Perhaps if you bottle fed, Chloe would actually get a look in’’. Aria had started to whimper and Sheila quickly stood up and walked over to her, looking in the moses basket. ‘’ That bad Mama upsetting you sweetie?’’

‘’Right, that is enough. I will not have you disrespecting my wife like this. Stop calling her a bad Mama. She is far from it. She is the strongest, most amazing mother I have ever met. She loves our daughter more than life itself and I will not stand to have you make her feel otherwise’’. Chloe spoke through gritted teeth. She had never had a violent bone in her body, but right now, it took all her strength not to walk up to the women and shake her. She felt her body tremble with anger. ‘’Now, I think you need to leave. I will happily pay for a hotel, but you are not staying here.’’

Beca instantly grabbed a hold of Chloe’s hand and squeezed it gently. ‘’I agree, If you can’t respect our decisions regarding our daughter then I don’t think you should be here right now.’’

‘’Beca, come on, lets be reasonable now’’. Her father spoke, slightly deflated. ‘’ Lets just all apologise and agree to move on from this.’’

‘’Pffft, I have nothing to apologise for.’’ She rolled her eyes and shook her head in his direction. She got up from her seat and stomped out of the room and up the stairs to the spare bedroom.

‘’Beca, I’m so sorry. We will stay elsewhere’’. He said quietly before following his wife up the stairs.

As he left the room, Chloe turned to look into her wife’s eyes. They were glistening with threatened tears. Her jaw was clenched so hard that the muscles in her law looked like they were about to pop. She took a step closer to her and wrapped her arms around Beca. 

Beca couldn’t help the sob that escaped as Chloe embraced her. Once her cried eased, she pulled away slightly, looking up into the redheads eyes. ‘’Is that what you think? That I don’t let you get a look in?’’ Her voice was full of worry.

‘’What?...No, of course not. Baby I think what you are doing is amazing. I am in complete awe of you. Come on, let takes Aria upstairs and wait for them to leave.’’

Beca nodded and went over to pick their baby girl up out of the moses basket. She kissed her on the top of her head before placing her in Chloe’s arms. They made their way up to the master bedroom, Chloe laying on the bed with a now sleeping baby on her chest, and her wife curled into her side. They heard Beca’s father and Sheila leaving. There were angry words muttered between the two of them that neither Beca or Chloe could hear. Honestly, they didn’t even want to. 

The two women had led in virtual silence for a little over two hours before Aria had stirred from her sleep and began to cry. Beca immediately sat herself up, reached down to the side of the bed to pick up the nursing pillow and made herself comfortable before Chloe handed Aria over to her. 

‘’I’m gonna go make us some lunch whilst you feed the little pickle, you must be starving. What do you fancy babe?’’ 

‘’Ooooh, I could smash a BLT babe’’. Beca looked up with a smile. 

Chloe went downstairs, prepared them both a sandwich and placed two bottles of water on the tray beside them. She looked through to the lounge and saw the bottle, still almost full, sitting on the arm of the sofa. She walked straight through, picked it up and slammed in the kitchen bin. She knew it would only stir up more anger if Beca saw it when they came downstairs later. 

She went upstairs, carrying the tray, and pushed the door open with her foot. ‘’I hope you’re hungry babe, I think I went a bit over board with the ba…..’’. Chloe stopped in her tracks as her eyes met the sight in front of her. 

Beca was sat on the bed, Aria crying in her arms and tears streaming down her own face.

‘’Bec, what’s wrong? What’s happened.’’

Beca could barely speak through her sobs. ‘’She wont latch...’’, she let out another sob. ‘’and she won’t stop crying….Chloe, go get the bottle, she doesn’t want me anymore’’.

Chloe set the tray down on the nearest surface and rushed over to her wife. She knelt next to the bed beside her and stroked her arm in an attempt to calm her. It did slightly. ‘’No, you don’t really want that. Just sit back, take deep breaths and try to calm yourself down. This little lady here...’’ she motioned down to the red faced whaling baby in the brunettes arms. ‘’She picks up on whatever you are feeling. Once you calm down, so will she and then you can try again.’’

Of course Chloe was right, she always was. Once Beca had calmed down, Aria immediately latched on and began to feed. Beca looked utterly exhausted. The emotions of the morning had taken its toll. ‘’Babe, close your eyes and rest.’’

‘’I will once she is finished.’’

‘’Bec, the pillow is there keeping her in place. I will keep an eye on her I promise. Once she is finished I will take her off and wind her.’’

Beca hesitated but she truly was exhausted. She had fallen asleep feeding a couple of times before but she didn’t like to make a habit of it. She was always petrified that she would drop the baby, but she felt more at ease when Chloe promised to watch her. She dropped her head backwards against the pillows and let her eyelids close. 

Within minutes, her breathing was shallow and her light snore was audible. Chloe couldn’t help but smile. To the left of her was her peacefully sleeping wife, breast feeding their even more peaceful looking daughter who she could swear was smiling as she fed. The redhead quickly grabbed her phone and snapped a photo. This one was definitely going in their memory box.


	7. Chapter 7

Aria really was the most content baby. Chloe and Beca couldn’t fathom how they got so lucky. They had heard horror stories from friends and family about sleepless night upon sleepless night, screaming fits, refusal to eat and much more...but as their baby was turning 9 months old, they were yet to encounter any of that. 

Their daughter was still petite for her age, had deep blue eyes, pale skin and thick brunette hair. She really was Beca’s miniature. She loved her food, again, just like her Mama. There really wasn’t anything they had given her that she didn’t like. She was feeding from Beca less and less these days, but still wanted her last thing before she went to bed. It had become a habit more than anything. Beca would cradle their daughter and breastfeed her whilst Chloe read her a story. They all loved their bedtime routine. 

Chloe had returned to work when Aria was 3 months old. She hated it. She hated missing out. She would still get holidays off and was home most evenings by 4pm but she couldn’t help but feel like she would now miss several milestones their daughter reached. She remembers the pride she felt when she saw Aria’s first smile. It had been at Beca, but she was still ecstatic. Her first giggle, was again because of Beca but she adored it. 

Chloe’s all time favourite came one evening when Aria was seven and a half months old. She had walked in the door after a tough day at work, Beca was sat on the couch with Aria on her lap reading a book. She shuffled over to join them, kissing Beca’s mini me on the head before she dropped down on the couch and leant over to kiss her wife. Just as she pulled away, Aria had started to wriggle out of her Mama’s hold, attempting to get at Chloe. The redhead didn’t think twice and put her arms out to take the little girl. She pulled her close into her chest to snuggle her. 

That’s when it came out… ‘’Mom mom mom’’.

Chloe’s eyes widened in shock. ‘’Did she just……?’’ was all she could say as tears started to spring from her eyes and roll down her cheeks. The biggest smile painted over her face. She pulled Aria closer to her not wanting to ever let her go. 

Beca took in the sight in front of her. A smile of her own stretched ear to ear. She adored moments like this. Her family were simply perfect. She took out her phone and took a quick photo of her two favourite girls, Chloe leaning back into the couch and Aria snuggled right into her looking more than content. ‘’You better start saying Mama soon though you little nugget’’. She joked as she tickled their daughters armpit, causing her to let out a squeaky giggle. 

Chloe had discussed with Beca how she felt when she had returned to work. Explained all of her worries about missing out, about hating that she wouldn’t spend every minute of the day with their daughter. The brunette had reassured her that no matter if she went to work or not, Aria would still love her Mommy, and if anything, she would be more excited to see her when she got home. But, with Aria now coming up to nine months old, Beca was due to return to work and was feeling exactly the same. She had cried to herself multiple times whilst Chloe was at work. She was quieter than usual, she wasn’t eating much, simply pushing her food around her plate most evenings, she was snappier with Chloe. It hadn’t gone unnoticed. 

The day before Beca was returning to work, they made their way up the stairs at 7pm to start their bedtime routine. Chloe went through to Aria’s bedroom to pick a book out. Tonight’s choice was ‘Mr. Brown can moo, can you?’. It was quite a long book but it was Aria’s current favourite, it always made her laugh. Beca and Chloe knew it word for word, so only had the book there to point the pictures out to Aria. 

She walked into the master bedroom and smiled looking over to her wife and daughter playing on the bed. Beca was blowing raspberries on Aria’s tummy, Aria attempting to crawl away but the brunette pulling her back across the bed by her leg. They were both giggling. Chloe stepped over to the bed and joined in. 

‘’Right baby, time for a story’’. Aria knew the routine, the moment she saw the book in her Mommy’s hand, she crawled over to Beca and tugged aggressively at her shirt, pinching skin as she did. 

‘’Hey, we don’t grab, we wait patiently.’’ Beca explained pulling her daughter away from her slightly to look in her eyes as she spoke. ‘’Now, let me get the pillow and I will be ready for you’’. They didn’t even need the pillow these days, it was more for Beca’s comfort than Aria’s. She picked up the pillow from next to the bed and set it in place. ‘’Come on the nugget.’’ 

Chloe smiled over at her wife and daughter before scooting up close to them. She kissed them both before opening the book and starting to read. ‘’The wonderful things Mr. Brown can do. He can go like a cow. He can go Moo Moo.’’ 

Chloe hadn’t even got through half of the book before Aria had fallen asleep and had finished feeding from Beca. She placed the book down on the bed side table before turning back to face Beca. ‘’Want me to take her through to bed?’’

‘’No’’. Beca’s reply was barely a whisper. 

‘’Babe, she’s been asleep like five minutes.’’

‘’I do know Chloe. I’m not blind.’’

Chloe let out a little sigh. She knew why her wife had snapped at her. She knew she was nervous to return to work tomorrow. She had been exactly the same six months previous. ‘’Beca, I know you’re worried about going back tomorrow, I know it’s a big step, but you are going to be absolutely fine...and so is Aria.’’

‘’What if she hates day care though? What if she cries Chlo and they can’t settle her?’’ A single tear rolled down Beca’s cheek.

Chloe tried to comfort her wife. She tried to be positive to help ease her worry. Deep down, Chloe also had a niggling feeling about all this too. It was one thing her going back to work six months ago, but now Beca was going back too, she had a slight unease about leaving their daughter with practical strangers. They’d looked around four local daycare centres and had taken their time to decide which one they wanted to send their daughter to. They settled on a small place, fifteen minutes from Beca’s job and around twenty five from Chloe’s. It was homely, and the staff there seemed kind. Not that they didn’t in the other three places too, but this one just had a good feel about it. 

Still, no matter how much the redhead tried to comfort her wife, she could tell none of it was dissipating Beca’s nerves. 

‘’Can she sleep in with us tonight?’’ Beca asked.

Chloe could never say no to Beca when she gave those puppy dog eyes. Aria had taken naps with one or the other on multiple occasions but she had never spent an entire night in their bed with them. ‘’Sure, just this once though babe.’’ she said with a wink. ‘’You do know it is only 7:30pm though right?’’

‘’Oh, well, umm...Maybe I’ll go grab a shower then.’’

The brunette placed their daughter between herself and her wife. She shifted off the bed and placed one of her pillows by the edge just in case Aria rolled over. 

Once she had showered and dressed into clean pyjamas, Beca returned back to the bedroom. Chloe was now in nightwear and had her laptop resting on her knees, Aria was sleeping, star fished in the middle of the bed, snoring lightly. Chloe looked over the top of her laptop and smiled at her wife. ‘’Feel better?’’

‘’Yeah, I guess’’. The brunette spoke softly as she gently sat on the bed and grabbed the television remote. ‘’What do you wanna watch?’’

They sat in virtual silence for the rest of the night watching some rubbish reality program. Chloe finished what she was doing on her laptop and made herself more comfortable in bed. It hadn’t taken her long to fall asleep. Beca on the other hand had struggled. Too many thoughts racing through her mind, nervousness to return to work, nervousness to leave her baby girl. She tried to think of other things, but they didn’t last long. 

Around 2am, Aria had stirred from her sleep. Beca immediately reached out to touch her, a little gesture of reassurance. She pulled her a little closer to herself, snuggling her into her chest. It didn’t take long for Aria to relax and fall back to sleep, and seemingly the contact helped Beca relax too, as her eye lids became heavy with sleep.

The following morning, Beca woke with a groan to the sound of her alarm. She turned over and slammed her hand on it to turn it off. She hadn’t had to set an alarm for nine months and had forgotten how loud it was. She needed it at full volume as she had a tendency to just ignore it. Chloe’s never woke her as it was just a gentle dinging noise and more often than not, Chloe was awake before her alarm so it was already turned off. 

The brunette sat herself up in bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. The bed was empty, so she assumed Chloe had taken Aria downstairs to give her breakfast. She got herself out of bed and made her way to the bathroom where she brushed her teeth and had a wash. She pulled the straighteners through her hair quickly to make it look more presentable and applied some light makeup to attempt to hide the bags under her eyes. She then went to the closet to pull out the clothes she had hung up for herself last night to wear.

Making her way down the stairs, she could hear her wife singing softly in the kitchen. It always made her smile. She absolutely loved hearing Chloe sing. She stepped towards the kitchen as quietly a she could, not wanting to disturb whatever was going on. She stopped at the door way and leant against the frame taking in the sight in front of her. Chloe dancing around the kitchen, singing to their daughter who was on her hip. Aria was giggling every so often but also holding on for dear life. It made Beca’s heart burst. 

‘’You know, I think she prefers your singing to mine, which is kinda ironic since I’m the one that had the number one selling album.’’ Beca said with a wink as she stepped into the kitchen, making Chloe jump slightly. She paced forward, kissing her wife on the lips and leaning down to kiss Aria. ‘’ Morning pickle. Did someone have porridge for breakfast huh?’’

‘’How’d you know?’’ Chloe replied with an inquisitive expression.

Beca simple moved her finger to Aria’s ear and rubbed off the piece of porridge before showing it to her wife. Chloe giggled and handed her a baby wipe. Once the remaining porridge was wiped off of the squirming baby, Beca reached over and took Aria from the redhead. She gave her a tight cuddle then began tickling her to make her laugh. 

‘’So, umm, do I look alright? It’s suitable for work right?’’ Beca asked. She wasn’t exactly expected to dress smartly, she was the most hard working and popular producer at the firm, she could probably wear a bin bag and no one would see her as anything other than completely professional. 

‘’Bec, you look HOT. Like really HOT’’. There raised her eyebrows in a suggestive manner and had a grin planted on her face. 

Beca shook her head and laughed. ‘’ Keep in your pants Beale.’’

‘’Mitchell-Beale’’.

They all made there way out of the door at 8:15am. Chloe followed Beca to the day care centre, not wanting her to do it alone. She knew her wife would be extremely anxious and felt that being present on the first drop off would help ease that anxiety a little. The drive was stress free, even though there was a little morning traffic. 

Standing outside of Beca’s car, Aria was babbling away whilst the brunette held her tight. Chloe was rubbing up and down Beca’s arm, she had tears streaming down her cheeks. ‘’Babe, she is going to be fine, I promise.’’

‘’I know. Its just…just she’s still so small...and….and we wont be there to...to comfort her if she cries. She’s...She’s not ready.’’ Beca spoke between sobs. 

‘’Baby, I think it may be you that’s not ready, not Aria. But you need to do this. You love your job, and you are amazing at it. Once you are there you will be fine, I promise. Think of all the adult conversation you’re going to get hey?’’. Chloe attempted to be slightly more stern than she usually would. Deep down she really wanted to tell her wife to never bother to go to work again and stay at home with their baby girl but that wouldn’t be feasible.

Beca took a deep breath, wiped her tears away with her sleeve, grabbed Chloe’s hand and walked towards the entrance. 

They were greeted by an older women, dressed in her uniform that consisted of casual jeans and a logo shirt. They were shown to the set of pegs with all the kids names on them where they could leave the bag of spare clothes and diapers before making their way into the room where Aria would spend her days there. It was a spacious room with lots of colourful pictures on the walls, there were around eleven other babies in the room all ranging from around six months to eighteen months. There were lots of toys and a messy play area. All the staff greeted them, introducing themselves. They’d already been introduced when they had their show round six weeks ago but it refreshed Beca and Chloe’s memories. 

Beca had taken a deep breath before handing Aria over to a kind looking lady called Karen. The little girl instinctively tried to wriggle out of her arms in an attempt to reach back over to her mothers. She cried when neither of them took her. When they said their goodbye’s to their daughter, the tiny brunette began to scream, a sound neither women had heard before. Beca looked at her wife, and Chloe knew exactly what was going on in her mind. She reached for her hand and squeezed it tightly. Karen explained to them that Aria would be perfectly fine and that it was very normal for this to happen on the first few visits at least. 

The moment they stepped out of the room where they had just left their daughter, Beca’s eyes filled with tears. They had never left her with anyone other than close friends or family, and she had definitely never screamed her little head off like that before. It broke both their hearts to see her so upset, but Chloe knew she had to be the strong one right now. She had never known her wife be so emotional before/

Chloe turned to Beca and wrapped her in a tight hug, calming her down before she got in the car to drive to work. ‘’She’s gonna be fine babe, why don’t you ring in a couple of hours and check in with them?’’. The brunette nodded before pulling out of Chloe’s embrace. ‘’Now, go make some awesome music.’’ 

Beca’s morning at work was busy. She had been thrown right back into it, given a list of things that needed to be looked over and an over view of all their newest clients. There were forms she needed to sign and a more than boring office meeting that she had to attend. Everyone welcomed her back, asked lots of questions about her time off and the baby. She got to show off lots of photos of Aria to her colleagues. She loved hearing that everyone thought she was cute. 

It took all her power not to ring the day care on her coffee break as she didn’t wanna seem like one of those needy Mama’s but since she had barely concentrated on anything other than her daughter after her coffee break, it was the first thing she did come lunch time. She was transferred through to Aria’s room and spoke to Karen who told her that Aria had been unsettled at times and hadn’t eaten her lunch or snack but she wasn’t crying much. Karen spoke like it was positive but Beca’s heart sunk. 

Beca’s work hours were slightly longer than her wife’s which meant that Chloe would be picking Aria at the end of the day. Beca worked closer but they had decided that until further notice, Aria wouldn’t be there any longer than necessary. 

Chloe pulled up to the building, got out of her car and rushed to the building. Pressing the buzzer to be let in. The door was opened by the same women as this morning, and she was ushered in. Chloe thought it was a little odd that the women seemed to be smirking at her, but as she walked into the room where they had dropped their daughter off this morning, she soon realised why.

Standing over to one side, Aria in her arms and talking to a member of staff, was Beca. Chloe rolled her eyes and cleared her throat, getting her wife’s attention. ‘’I thought you had work until five.’’

‘’Oh, well...ummm…I got off early, I needed to see my baby’’. Beca sounded a little tense, so the redhead walked over to them and gave her usual arm rub of reassurance. The brunette listened intently to the member of staff handing over to her, but Chloe was some what distracted by Aria shouting ‘mom mom mom mom mom’ at her. She leant down and gave Aria a little Eskimo kiss that made the tiny girl scrunch her nose before giggling. 

When they got home, it had been agreed that they would just get a pizza delivery for dinner after putting Aria to bed. They had plenty of little meals prepped and in the freezer for Aria that they could just heat up in the microwave. They were all chilling out on the couch, Beca holding Aria as she watch some toddlers rhyme time program on the television. Neither parent was too keen on their daughter getting too much screen time, it was very rare the television was on whilst she was awake, but tonight was an exception, and they figured it was sort of educational. 

About five minutes in, Aria started tugging at her Mama’s shirt. ‘’Nu-uh it’s not bedtime yet nugget.’’ Beca said whilst trying to prize their daughters grip. ‘’Babe, can you take her, I’m gonna give her dinner early, she didn’t eat all day. She’s probably starving.’’

Chloe took her and calmed her down whilst her wife went to make the little girls dinner. This was the first time she got to hold her since the morning, as Beca had clung to her. She missed Aria too and was momentarily annoyed that her wife was hogging their daughter but knew she couldn’t say anything as she didn’t want to upset Beca further. 

Bedtime took a little longer that night, though all three of them were exhausted. Beca had looked at Chloe with those puppy dog eyes again, but before she could ask, Chloe took Aria off to her own bedroom and place her in the cot. It felt almost cruel to do it, but she didn’t want their daughter to come to rely on sleeping in their bed. They were not getting into any bad habits. 

The following four days were much the same. Beca becoming emotional when dropping off Aria (who had screamed every single time) at day care, spending most of her day not concentrating, ringing to check on their daughter multiple times a day. She was miserable. Her work wasn’t getting done to her pre-baby standard and she wasn’t enjoying it one single bit. Her boss had even pulled her into the office on day three to ask if she was ok. She was politely asked to pull her act together as certain artists were here simply to work with her and had even waited for her return to be able to start. 

She worked late the following three nights in order to get things done that she had clearly slacked on during the previous two days. There was no way she was going to work Saturday to catch up. Those two nights were hard on Beca. She had only just made it home in time for the bedtime routine on the Wednesday, meaning the only time she really spent with Aria had been whilst she was falling asleep. Thursday was the worst. She was so busy that she hadn’t noticed the time and didn’t make it back until 9:30pm. She missed dinner time, bath time and story time. What upset her most that night was she didn’t get to breastfeed her daughter as she fell asleep in her arms. 

Chloe could see how much it got to Beca. Although they had discussed that Aria wouldn’t need breastfeeding much longer, she knew that Beca still needed it, still needed that closeness at the end of the day and Aria didn’t seem ready to give it up just yet either. Aria had been horrific to get to bed that night, she cried solidly for an hour before she exhausted herself to sleep. Nothing Chloe did would comfort her. She couldn’t tell her wife this though, she simply said that Aria had been upset but didn’t want to make the brunette feel any more guilty than she so clearly did already. 

The following morning Beca was quieter than usual. She seemed to be in a constant state of thought. Chloe tried to get it out of her but she wasn’t budging. Even during the day she hadn’t received her usual afternoon text from the brunette. She eventually heard from her her wife at around 5pm to tell her she would be working late yet again but would be back in time for Aria’s bedtime.

Beca still wasn’t home at 7:20pm. Twenty minutes later than the usual bedtime routine started. Chloe would generally worry about not hearing from her when running late but she was busy dealing with a very impatient Aria. She was tired and getting agitated. The redhead tried her best to keep her entertained. She read books, brought her toys and even attempted a little tickle attack. None of it worked. Aria was getting more worked up by the minute. Even throwing herself on the floor in a tantrum which shocked Chloe no end. She had never seen her throw a strop before. 

Beca finally walked through the door at just gone 7:30pm. She threw her bag down on the floor in temper, kicked her shoes off and stomped through to the lounge. She walked over to Aria, picked her up and placed her on her hip. Receiving a confused look from Chloe, she let out a loud sigh. ‘’Don’t fucking ask’’. It came out more aggressively that she intended. 

‘’I can clearly tell you’re not happy, but we don’t use that language in front of Aria. Take a deep breath, calm down and lets go get this one ready for bed before she throws herself on the floor again.’’

Beca looked confused at the revelation but nodded, pulling Aria in close. They made their way up the stairs and whilst Chloe was in choosing a book, Beca took their daughter to the master bedroom. She turned on both the bed side lamps before shutting off the main light and sat on the bed, making herself comfortable against the headboard. Aria was whinging, and began pulling at her Mama’s shirt. Beca didn’t even have the energy to ask her to wait. She knew the tiny brunette was exhausted and it was already nearly forty minutes later than their usual routine. 

Beca was already feeding Aria when her wife walked into the room. ‘’She was too impatient, I think she is gonna be asleep before you even start reading’’.

Chloe looked down to Aria who was rubbing her eyes aggressively, trying to keep her little eyes open, but they were rolling backwards. Every time her eye lids shut, she would open them back up instantly. The redhead reached across and stroked her hair a few times, which put her fully to sleep within seconds. Falling asleep whilst still feeding happened rarely these days so she must have been totally wiped out.

‘’She’s exhausted. I think the massive strop she had put pay to that.’’ Chloe said in an almost whisper. 

Beca looked deflated. She knew it was her fault that their daughter had got so upset, she knew it was because she was late home from work….again. She hated not getting to spend as much time as possible with Aria, she hated leaving her at day care, she hated going into work and the long hours. 

She was silent for a few minutes, one single thought going round her head that she was trying to make sense of. Chloe noticed. Of course Chloe noticed. The redhead moved her arm and placed it on her wife’s. ‘’I can hear you thinking you know. What’s up?’’

Beca looked over at Chloe, almost unsure of it she wanted to say her thought out loud. She needed to though. ‘’I’m quitting my job.’’ She blurted out and immediately broke eye contact. 

Chloe sat, mouth slightly gaping. For a short while, she couldn’t quite find the words she wanted to say. Taking a deep breath she finally managed to talk. ‘’Ok. Umm I know we’ve got money saved babe, but it won’t last forever, and my wage isn’t going to keep us going.’’ There was a mild sound of panic to her voice. Yes they had plenty of money, but that was only because Beca got amazing commissions from all the music she produced. She was popular and was often working with multiple artists at the same time.

‘’I, umm, I was thinking.’’ Beca took a deep breath. ‘’I want to have my own production company and studio.’’ She looked at Chloe with eyes full of fear. Fear of the redhead thinking it was the worst idea. ‘’And like, maybe we could get a nanny for Aria, that way I can see her whenever I need to’’. 

Chloe could see how scared her wife was. She could see the fear in her eyes so immediately grabbed a hold of the hand that wasn’t cradling their daughter. ‘’Baby, if that is what you want, then I am one hundred percent behind you.’’ 

Beca let out a breath she hadn’t realised she was holding. Almost a relief. She knew it would be hard work getting a business off the ground. She knew it was going to take time to find a suitable building to rent and setting everything up, but she was at the top of her field and that would only work in her favour. 

Attempting not to disturb a sleeping Aria, she lent over and kissed Chloe. ‘’I love you so much Chlo.’’


	8. chapter 8

Chloe and Beca had often tormented themselves about their time at Barden. They regularly discussed how they were both too stupid to realise how they felt or how the other felt about them. The topic was brought up almost weekly. Usually on a Saturday evening, when Aria was tucked up in bed and they were downstairs snuggled up on the sofa with a glass of wine and a soppy film deemed ‘ridiculously cliché’ by Beca. 

‘Girl decides to move away from her home town because ‘nothing is keeping her there’ and arrives at the airport. Before the plane leaves, the boy runs to find her and begs her not to go. He admits how he feels, tells her he can’t live without her, then they live happily ever after.’

As it goes, Beca and Chloe were very much a cliché. They met at college, they became best friends and then fell madly in love with each other. Except neither were brave enough to admit, well not until one night when alcohol played a large part in their courage. That one night that, although they wont know until they get there, was the start of their hoped for happily ever after. 

There had been a few moments during their relationship where they argued, although they were generally few and far between. Most disagreements came shortly after Aria’s birth. She was a very easy going baby, but lack of sleep and hormones flying all over the place were a significant factor. They rarely lasted more than half an hour though. For the most part, they were happy. No, they were more than happy. 

Beca had been snowed under at work. When she handed in her notice, she knew she was contractually obliged to work a further four months. She wasn’t given any more albums to work on, because she simply would never get one finished in that time. She was however given two new ‘apparently’ up and coming artists to work with on their first singles. One was a complete diva, the other didn’t seem to want to make any decision of their own. Both were great singers, but made it such hard work for Beca. 

She also had to start looking for a premises for her new venture, figure out everything she needed to get her business up and running, and all the legal ‘crap’ that came with it. It was time consuming, and meant that she had spent less and less time with her wife, she hated it and she was guilt ridden at spending hardly any time with Aria just recently.

Having the new nanny had helped. Aria was much more settled than she was at daycare. She thrived on one to one attention. At almost a year she could say a handful of words and was taking a few shaky steps. She was a happy little girl again, but it didn’t ease Beca’s guilt. 

‘’So I’ve got the rugrat’s birthday weekend off.’’ Beca called through to Chloe whilst tapping away on her laptop.

Chloe walked out of their en suite bathroom wearing nothing but underwear and one of Beca’s ACDC tees. She had her toothbrush in her hand and minty froth creeping out the corners of her mouth. ‘’Good, what we gonna do? Zoo?’’

The brunette looked up over the top of her laptop to catch a look at her wife. ‘’Hey, that’s my shirt’’. She rolled her eyes but her tone was light and jesting. ‘’No, I wanna throw a party. Cake, bouncy castle, face paints, a barbecue, oh and a magician would be cool. Is she too young for that? I guess she kinda is, but your nieces and nephews will be there right? They’ll love it. What about a mini petting zoo? With like baby goats and pigs and rabbits. And I’ve seen this really cute little vest that has a big pink number one on it with a pink tutu.’’

‘’Whoa, Bec. Breathe for a second. Don’t you think that is a little much. She’s gonna be one, she wont exactly remember it will she?’’ 

Beca huffed. ‘’What? Don’t you think she deserves it?’’

Chloe walked back into the bathroom to spit the toothpaste foam and rinse her tooth brush to set it back in the holder. She made her way back into the bedroom, sat down on the edge of the bed next to Beca and placed her hand on the brunettes knee. ‘’Babe, of course I think she deserves it. It’s just a little much, don’t you think?’’

Tears immediately sprung to Beca’s eyes and trickled down her cheeks. 

‘’Why you crying babe?’’ Chloe questioned, immediately manoeuvring on the bed so that she was next to Beca, moving her laptop before pulling her into a hug. ‘’Talk to me.’’

Beca sighed, tears still bubbling in her eyes as she wiped the ones from her cheeks with her sleeve. ‘’It’s...It’s just...I’ve hardly spent any time with her recently. I just want to spoil her. Show her how much I love her.’’

‘’Bec, you seriously think she doesn’t already know how much you love her?’’ Chloe placed her finger under her wife’s chin, gently making her look up in to her eyes. ‘’Come on, you are her favourite.’’ the redhead stated with a wink. Chloe tried to make it a joke, but it was true, Beca was their daughters favourite. When she fell over, she immediately cried for her mama. When she woke in the night, she would only go back to sleep for Beca. When Aria was poorly, Chloe didn’t even get looked at. Aria just clung to the brunette like a koala bear. 

‘’That’s not true. I just feel like a shit Mama at the moment. Works just so busy and I’m kinda neglecting her.’’ Beca’s reply ended with a sob.

Chloe held Beca tightly. She knew her wife well enough to know that right now, she just needed to let her cry it out. So she did. Whispering in her ear that she could do whatever she wanted for their daughters birthday. 

The following day, Beca was called in to work at short notice. Begrudgingly she made her way in, her personal laptop tucked under her arm. If she was being dragged into work on her day off, because that annoying, pampered, pretentious diva wanted to change something on her single right this minute, she was going to use any spare possible moment to organise her daughters party.

‘’Right, so the bouncy castle will be here at 11am, and the petting zoo bloke will be here to set up at 1:30pm. I will turn the grill on at… Actually babe, can you ask your dad to light it? Babe...Chlo….Chloe?’’ 

‘’What?’’ The redhead snapped.

‘’Were you even listening?’’ Beca looked annoyed. Not quite pissed off, but she was slightly stressing out, she wanted everything to be perfect. Not just for their daughter, but there were so many family members and friends joining them to celebrate, she wanted everything to be perfect.

‘’Honestly, no. You’ve been barking orders at me all morning. You need to chill out, it’s only half past nine.’’ Chloe was stood with her hands on her hips. 

Beca knew that look. It immediately forced her to revert her eyes to hands. ‘’Right….sorry babe. I just...I just want it to be perfect.’’ 

‘’I know you do, but lets just calm down about it. Why don’t you go take that mucky pup in the shower with you.’’ Chloe gestured over to Aria who was in her high chair, face and hands covered in porridge and squished strawberries. ‘’My parents will be here shortly, and your dad and Sheila are due in about an hour. I promise, I will give them all jobs. Now go.’’ 

Beca did as she was told. ‘’Come on nugget, lets go get you cleaned up.’’

The brunette returned downstairs with Aria about an hour later in search of Chloe. Aria was wearing a little black Ramones tee and a blue tutu with just a diaper underneath. Her hair was up in a little ponytail, left to dry naturally so that it would have it’s usual loose curl, with a bow that matched the colour of her tutu and a pair of little black high top converse. She looked adorable, even if Beca did say so herself. ‘’Hey Chlo?’’. She looked down to her daughter who she carried on her hip. ‘’Where’s Mommy huh? Can you call her? Shout Mommmmmmmmy’’.

‘’Mom mom mommmmmmy’’.

‘’Shit, did she just?’’, Chloe clasped her hand to mouth and Beca glared at her in shock. They’d made a pact not to swear in front of their daughter but every so often the odd curse word slipped out. Never from Chloe though, that was usually always Beca.’’Shit sorry. I mean, sorry, I should not have said that.'' She looked to Beca with a grimaced expression. ‘’Can you say it again baby. Say Mommy.’’

Aria simply giggled at her, wiggling out of her Mama’s arms to get to Chloe. Chloe took her eagerly. ‘’Say Mommy again you little toad.’’ Beca said as she tickled Aria, coaxing a loud giggle from her.

‘’Shit’’… Clear as day, and on her first birthday, Aria said her first curse word. Beca burst into fits of laughter, while Chloe looked absolutely distraught. 

‘’No baby, we don’t say that word.’’

Beca actually had tears from laughing so much, her ribs hurt and she gasped for air. As if coaxed by her Mama’s laughter, Aria repeated it again. 

‘’It’s not funny Bec. God, I curse once in the entire twelve months and she repeats it. You swear every other day and she says nothing. Oh my god.’’

‘’Calm down, she will have forgotten it in five minutes time...Anyway, check out her outfit. We’re matching’’. Beca said pointing down towards her own shirt. She noticed the slight look of disappointment in her wife’s yes. Leaning forward to plant a kiss on Chloe’s cheek she whispered in her ear. ‘’Yours is hung in the closet.’’ 

Chloe rolled her eyes and grinned at the brunette. She wouldn’t usually wear a shirt with a band name on it unless it was one of Beca’s and she was wearing it to bed but she loved the idea that they would all be matching today. She walked out into the garden to follow Beca who was making her way towards the bouncy castle guy to inform him where she would like it set up. Chloe’s parents were out on the patio area drinking coffee, so she handed off their granddaughter to them so she could go get herself a shower to freshen up. 

Hours later, it seemed like there were hundreds of people in their garden. Kids running around, jumping on the bouncy castle, giving their parents a mild heart attack whenever they got too close to the front of it still bouncy. Food had constantly been on the go on the grill, drinks were being drank and Aria was passed from pillar to post….or should that be from Grandparent to Bella. 

It had been a while since all the Bellas had been in one place. The last time was actually Beca and Chloe’s wedding. They’d nearly all visited when Aria was born but never all at the same time. Although they were grateful for that. It was always a ruckus when they got together. Now was no exception. Amy was telling Chloe’s sister in law some extravagent story about how she wrestled a crocodile, Stacie was incessantly flirting with young man running the petting zoo, Flo was showing off doing flips and trying to teach Chloe’s eldest niece how to do a cartwheel. It was manic, but Beca thought it was amazing to have them all there. It felt like old times. 

Emily was of course holding Aria. They’d never admit it to the rest of the Bellas, but Chloe and Beca both new that Emily was their daughters favourite ‘Aunt’, closely followed by Aubrey. Emily loved to spend time with the tiny brunette. She made the most frequent visits over the last year made an effort to facetime as regularly as all their schedules could manage. 

‘’Hey Ems, Am I getting my kid back any time today?’’ Beca teased.

‘’Oh umm, yeah, do you want her now?’’ Emily still had that deer in a headlights look she had back at college, it always made Beca laugh. She passed her back to her Mama and returned to her seat where the rest of the Bellas congregated.

‘’We’re gonna do her cake. Can you herd everyone up for us?’’ 

With that, Beca placed Aria on the ground, holding both hands, she walked her over to Chloe who was chatting away to one of her brothers and sister in law. ‘’Hey babe, this ones getting tired, shall we do the cake now in case she crashes?’’

Chloe agreed, picking up their daughter and giving her a squishy cuddle. ‘’You having a good birthday baby girl?’’ She leant forward and gave Aria one of their usual Eskimo kisses. The little girl had the exact same reaction every time. She scrunched her little button nose and squinted her eyes before letting out a little giggle. It was there thing, and Chloe loved it.

Chloe’s mother went inside to fetch Aria’s high chair and brought it outside. She set it on the patio where it was clearly a lot more level. It also gave enough space for everyone to huddle round and see her blow out her candle. Or more likely one of her moms to blow out her candle. 

The day seemed to have passed them by so quickly. Before they knew it, it had got dark outside, friends had mostly left, bar the Bellas and family had made their way back to hotels. 

Chloe and Beca snuggled up on one bench under a light blanket, with Aria sleeping peacefully on Beca’s chest, the rest of the Bellas sat comfortably on chairs, benches and beanbags around them. There was light chatter, all catching up with each other and fawning over their Bardon days. There was a lot of laughter and embarrassing stories. It almost felt like they were back there together again. It was so reminiscent of their Thursday bonding evening. ‘’Hey shawshank, motherhood really suits ya.’’

Amy rarely said anything in a serious tone, but this, Beca could tell was honest. She simply smiled back at her. Yeah motherhood did suit her, and she knew it. If anyone had asked her back at college ‘t if she wanted children, her answer would most definitely have been no. But she didn’t have Chloe back then. Well, she did have Chloe but not in the sense she does now and she couldn’t imagine life without her or their daughter. However manic life was right now, she felt completely content.

The Bella’s left around 9pm after helping clear the entire garden and taking all of Aria’s gifts inside. They hadn’t got round to opening them because the day just got away from them. Chloe and Beca were grateful for their help, it meant they wouldn’t have to waste half of the following day clearing up. They’d seen the girls out, welcoming them to come back the following day for lunch. Neither had realised how much they missed the rest of the girls until they had had them there with them all day.

Beca had made a sensible decision to put Aria in a baby grow when she had changed her diaper a couple of hours ago, meaning it was easy enough to just take her to bed and not have to disturb her. They were all exhausted so made their way up stairs the moment they closed the front door after their last guest had left. After the brunette placed their peacefully sleeping baby into her cot, she leant down and kissed her forehead softly. ‘’Happy birthday baby girl, we love you so much.’’ she whispered before she turned to tiptoe out of the room and noticed Chloe leaning against the door frame, smiling back at her.

Chloe embraced her wife in a soft hug and the brunette sunk into it before receiving a kiss to the top of her head. ‘’I just wanna say goodnight to her, go get in bed. I’ll be right there.’’

Beca did as she was told, dragging her feet in exhaustion. She stripped her clothes and got into a pair of shorts and a baggy tee before collapsing into the bed. She leant over to turn on her lamp and baby monitor. There was a slight pause before she heard Chloe’s voice coming through the monitor. ‘’Goodnight princess, we love you so so so so so so much, but please don’t ever say shit again, I don’t my nerves can take it.’’ It made Beca chuckle.

Chloe came into the bedroom and repeated her wife’s movements, getting into a fresh pair of pyjamas that consisted of little shorts and one of Beca’s tees and then she slumped onto the bed and snuggled into her wife's side. ‘’I loved today but we are not doing that again any time soon, I am so incredibly tired.’’

Beca let out a little chuckle before going quiet for a few minutes to enjoy being snuggled up to her wife. ‘’So, umm I got a call earlier. My offer was accepted for the lease.’’ Beca almost whispered as she looked up into Chloe’s eyes.

Chloe basically squealed. She was up on her knees almost instantly, clapping her hands together in excitement. ‘’Oh my god baby, that’s so amazing.’’ She threw herself at Beca into a deep kiss. ‘’I’m so fucking proud of you Beca.’’


	9. chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and probably only time I will ever attempt to write smut.

Life had taken a manic turn whilst Beca was setting up her own production company. She was lucky that she already had a good name for herself in the music industry, meaning she got a steady stream of artists to work with. They were usually new artists, a lot of young singers, some who were not the easiest to work with, but Beca couldn’t turn them away. They were what was making her money and keeping her business afloat.

As the months went by, more known artists were coming to her. She had produced four songs that made it into the top ten and had now required more staff in order to keep up with demand. She had to admit, she hated interviewing people. She hated the structured questions and the clearly rehearsed answers she received. But it had to be done. She had employed a guy in his thirties who came very highly recommended. He was being made redundant from his previous job due to employment cuts, Beca kind of felt for him. He had children and a wife and although there were one of two other interviewees that had more experience than him, it had just felt right to employ him. 

Beca also employed an intern. A still teenage girl who reminded her a lot of herself at that age. 

The time she spent at work had left little time for her family. She always made it home before Aria’s bedtime and refused to work Sunday’s but Beca always felt awful for not being there more. The nanny they employed was a god send. She was in her early twenties, had kind eyes, a great sense of humour and most importantly Aria adored her. Penny took her to stay and play, music time and swimming on a weekly basis and Aria was becoming quite the little brainbox. 

Beca’s time with Chloe was limited, although they spent their evenings together, they were usually spent with both of them on their laptops, catching up with work, answering emails, Chloe marking work. Their Sunday’s were for spending time with their daughter and left little opportunity for any alone time. The guilt of it always got to her, but now she had employed staff, and they were both settled in, she had an idea of how to make it up to her wife. She just needed to put everything in place. Firstly she text Aria’s nanny to ask if she could take care of her, and then she could work everything out from there.

Beca: Hi Penny, can I ask a massive favour?

Penny: Of course Mrs. M.

Beca: Could you possibly have Aria for a weekend? I’ll pay you double and you can have the Thursday off before hand to make up for it. I’d like to take Chloe away. 

Penny: Sure, no problem at all. When were you thinking?

Beca: This Friday if possible? Can you not tell Chloe though, I want it to be a surprise.

Penny: No worries Mrs. M, I can do that.

Beca: You are the best Penny.

Phase one was sorted, now all Beca had to do was work out where they would be staying and what they would be doing. She spent most of her day on the Monday searching the internet for nice hotels, not too overly far away because although they were happy that Aria was safe with Penny, Beca knew that Chloe and herself would feel better if they were within a decent travelling distance in case anything happened. 

Beca booked a hotel that had the best reviews. It had a jacuzzi bath, double shower, king sized bed and a small terrace with a seating area. There were plenty of things to do near by. A zoo. A fairground. Mini golf. Museums. Restaurants. There would be plenty for Chloe to choose from. 

The brunette was excited. Ecstatic to actually spend some alone time with her wife. It had been a long time coming. Now she just had to keep it a secret and pack a suitcase for Chloe without her realising her clothes were missing. 

It wasn’t too hard to keep it from Chloe, since Beca had been busy with work all week, making sure everything was put in place before she took the entire weekend off. Chloe was off for the summer so didn’t seem at all concerned that Penny had ‘taken the day off’. Beca had been taken an item or two of Chloe’s each day to pack in the hopes that she wouldn’t get caught. She thought she was in the clear until the Thursday evening when her wife was looking a specific top she wanted to wear the following day.

Chloe was rummaging through the closet, mumbling to herself, slowly getting more annoyed. ‘’Bec, have you seen my blue shirt’’ she called from inside the closet.

Beca was situated on their bed, looking through emails on her phone. ‘’Which one babe?’’ she questioned, knowing exactly which one it was. It was one she had taken that morning and placed into the suitcase that was currently in the back of her car.

‘’The sleeveless one with the white polka dots?’’

‘’No Chlo, not seen it. Sorry.’’ She was a little fidgety but grateful that her wife couldn’t see her, she could always tell when she was lying.

The following morning, Penny turned up at 8am and got Aria’s breakfast for her. Aria was nearly three years old, full of chat and completely inquisitive. Nothing got passed her. 

‘’Mama, you’re never here for breakfast.’’ Aria said whilst scoffing a piece of peanut butter on toast.

Chloe was stood at the other end of the kitchen island opposite Aria, sipping on her coffee. ‘’Yeah, she’s right babe. When was the last time you were still home at this time of the morning?’’

Beca walked over to her wife, took the mug of coffee from her hand and took a sip of it. ‘’Oh yeah, that would be because I’m taking you away for the weekend?’’ She said smirking at her wife before placing the mug back down and walking off.

It took a short moment for the redhead to process what her wife had just said. When she did, her head shot round so quick, she is lucky she didn’t give herself whiplash. ‘’Whoa, hang on, what?’’

Chloe virtually jogged through the door and looked at her questioningly. Beca couldn’t help by laugh. ‘’We’re going away for the weekend. Penny is having Aria. Everything is sorted. Get your shoes on and get your sexy butt out to the car.’’ 

Chloe let her excitement bubble. She was jumping on the spot and clapping her hands. ‘’Oh my god, I need to go pack.’’

‘’Nope’’ Beca shook her head. ‘’All done. Oh and your blue shirt is in there.’’ She winked and walked back through to the kitchen.

Both women walked into the kitchen to explain to Aria that they were going away and would be back Sunday evening. They’d never left her for more than one night before and were always back first thing the following morning. It got a little emotional when they said goodbye to their daughter but both women were excited to have some alone time. 

‘’It’s ok mama, I’ll be a good girl.’’ Aria said as she hugged Beca. 

‘’I know you will nugget. Me and Mommy will phone you at bedtime to say goodnight alright? I love you so much.’’ 

Chloe gave a similar goodbye, except she let actual tears stream down her face. Tears that their not quite three year old daughter wiped away with her little thumb. She was such a caring little girl. She was empathic and patient. Definitely learned behaviour from Chloe. 

Their drive to the hotel was calm and hassle free. Traffic wasn’t too bad. Their journey was spent singing along to the radio, chatting about work, holding hands across the centre console. It only took them just over an hour to get to the hotel, it was a ten minute walk from the beach and five minutes from several restaurants. The hotel itself was beautiful. The room was large, and looked exactly like the photos on the website. 

‘’Wow, Bec this is amazing.’’ Chloe stated walking around the room taking it all in. 

‘’Mmhmm.’’ Beca replied walking up behind Chloe to wrap her arms around her waist and rest her head on her shoulder. ‘’What do you wanna do first? Beach? Pool? Shopping?’’

Chloe decided on shopping. There weren’t a whole load of stores, more boutique type and designer shops. Beca got distracted in the children's section, picking out three outfits for Aria. They didn’t usually spend a masses on clothes for their daughter, she was an adventurous little girl and often clothes got ruined, but Beca couldn’t resist. She figured they could put them up for her birthday. 

They went to a small cafe for lunch. Both ordering a ceaser salad and a diet coke. They chatted away, relishing in their alone time. 

‘’So, how’s about later, before we go to the restaurant, we go down to the beach and watch the sunset?’’ Beca asked, smiling over to her wife. 

‘’Beca Mitchell-Beale, that is the most cliché thing you’ve ever suggested.’’ Blushed rose from the brunettes chest to her cheeks at Chloe’s words. She shuffled from foot to foot nervously before the redhead turned to fully face her and took hold of her hands. ‘’It sounds perfect’’ she said before placing a soft kiss on Beca’s cheek.

They went back to their hotel room and changed into their bathing suits and spent the rest of the afternoon lazing by the pool. Chloe was sun bathing whilst Beca hidden in the shade reading a book. Chloe had taken a dip in the pool at one point and Beca couldn’t take her eyes off her wife as she exited the pool, bikini clinging to her body, and wet hair pulled back off her face. She looked hot.

The redhead walked over to Beca and perched on the edge of the lounger she was laying on. ‘’Good book babe?’’ She asked.

‘’I dunno, I can’t concentrate on it with you looking like that.’’ Beca replied pulling her sun glasses half way down her nose and wiggling her eyebrows in a suggestive manor. 

Chloe laughed at her and pushed her shoulder gently. ‘’stop ogling me.’’

‘’I can’t help it. Have you seen you?’’ Beca sat up and placed kisses from Chloe’s shoulder to her neck.

The redhead let out a soft moan when her wife reached her pulse point. ‘’Babe stop, we’re in public’’, She said with a giggle. 

‘’Mmm lets take it somewhere more private then? You know, we could both really do with a shower.’’ Beca continued placing kisses at her wife’s shoulder.

Chloe stood up and almost yanked Beca with her. She laced their fingers and pulled her towards the hotel entrance and up to the elevator. She pressed the button frantically, willing it to hurry up. The brunette was stood with a smirk on her face. She couldn’t remember the last time they were still spontaneous. Usually sex had to be almost scheduled. 

The elevator finally opened and they both stepped inside. The moment the doors closed behind them, Beca launched into Chloe, lips crashing together eagerly. It was desperate and needy and lasted until they were at their floor. Intertwining their fingers again, Beca led them to the hotel room and clumsily placed the key card against the sensor to let them in. 

As soon as they were in the room, and the door was shut, they were kissing again. Less needy and more passionate this time. Beca slammed her wife back against the door and deepened the kiss further. Their semi naked bodies pushed flush against each other as hands roamed over each other.  
Beca raised her knee and placed it between Chloe’s legs, pushing against her centre as her kiss moved form the redheads lips, down her jaw line and to her neck. 

The sounds coming from Chloe only spurred her on more. She could listen to those noises all day and night. Chloe ground down a few times, searching out more friction in the place she needed it more. The brunette pulled away, causing a light groan from her wife at the distance. 

‘’Lets go shower.’’ Beca’s voice was low and gravelly and her face flushed. 

They made their way into the large bathroom in silence. Chloe turned the water on on both sides of the double shower, before turning round to see Beca starting to undress herself. ‘’Can I? It’s been a while since I got to undress you.’’ 

Beca stopped what she was doing, gulped and nodded. She hadn’t been this turned on in a long time. Their sex life in general wasn’t awful. They both knew how to get each other going, knew exactly what each other liked and disliked, but this, this was how they were before busy work schedules and having their daughter. Chloe undressed her slowly, tracing her fingers over Beca’s curves. Taking in every detail of her. It sent shivers down the brunettes spine. 

Beca returned the favour. Undoing Chloe’s bikini excruciatingly slow. Letting it fall from her breasts and onto the floor. ‘’God, you’re so fucking beautiful.’’ Beca almost growled before pushing Chloe backwards, into the running water of the shower. Lips crashing together as the water rained down on them. 

She pushed Chloe into the wall of the shower, knee immediately between her wife’s bare legs, pushing up into her centre, hands around the redheads wrists, pinning them to wall above her head as she attached her lips to her pulse point. She bit down, taking the skin between her teeth and pulling it gently, causing a moan to escape Chloe. ‘’Fuck, Bec.’’

The noises coming from Chloe caused the heat between her own thighs to increase, they may have been in the shower but Beca could feel wet she was becoming just from doing this to her wife. She moved to place a soft kiss at Chloe’s jaw before moving down the front of her neck, down to the gap between her breasts. She let go of one of the redheads wrists and brought her hand down to cup her breast before taking the hardened nipple between her in finger and thumb and tweaking it. She glanced up at her wife, head thrown thrown back against the wall, arching into her touch. God she was beautiful. Flawless. 

Letting go of her other wrist, Beca leant down to take her other breast in her mouth. Flicking her tongue over the hardened nub then sucking on it. She released it with a pop, only to move onto the other to give it the same attention. 

‘’Please Bec.’’ Chloe virtually begged. 

Beca looked up into her eyes and saw the desperation. Desperation to be touched. Her body was squirming with every touch and movement from Beca. Her hips rocking forward, desperate for some kind of friction. The brunette straightened her back and leant back up to place a hard kiss on Chloe’s lips. Tracing her tongue over the redheads bottom lip before pushing her tongue inside her mouth. There was a small battle for dominance but Beca won it. 

Her hand traced down Chloe’s arm and landed on her hip, squeezing it before rolling her hips into hers, all whilst not breaking the kiss. There was a small squeak of surprise from the redhead followed by a soft moan as Beca once again rolled her hips into her. 

There was a little distance between the two as Beca moved her left hand from Chloe’s hip to trace across her stomach and down to her centre. She can feel the heat radiating from her wife. Beca slides a single finger from Chloe’s entrance, up to her throbbing clit. ‘’I’m gonna make you cum so hard.’’ 

Chloe grunted and ground down on to Beca’s hand, desperately seeking out the friction she so clearly needed. That comment from the brunette just turned her on ten-fold. She loved when Beca talked dirty, but it was such a rare occurrence. Beca always claimed to be rubbish at dirty talk, but whenever it happened, Chloe could almost swear she could cum just from hearing those words. 

Beca gently started to circle the redheads throbbing bundle of nerves, applying more pressure with every flick of her fingers. She placed her right arm behind Chloe’s back, helping her keep her balance as she continued her minstrations. Her mouth was back on Chloe’s in a passionate kiss, tongues yet again battling for dominance.

Chloe’s hands were roaming the brunettes back, tracing up and down her spine, her right arm coming up to the base of Beca’s skull and fisting her hand into the hair there. She knew Beca liked it when her hair was tugged, so she did just that, causing the guttural moan that escaped Beca’s throat.

Without warning, Beca plunged two fingers into the redheads entrance and started pumping. Chloe let out a shaky groan at the sudden sensation, hand flying from Beca’s hair, slapping against the tiled wall, searching mindlessly for something to hold on to, anything to help keep her upright as her legs started to weaken. Her other arm that was around Beca’s back now draped over her shoulder, gripping on for dear life as Beca’s motions quickened. She knew she was digging nails into her wife’s shoulder blades but she could help it. 

She raised one leg and wrapped it around the brunettes hip to give her more room, a better angle and the ability to push her fingers into her further. Her breaths were becoming sharper and a slew of profanities were leaving her mouth. 

God Beca loved it when Chloe swore. She continued pumping her fingers into her wife, building up a rhythm before moving her thumb to flick over her clit at the same time. The noises coming from Chloe were almost animalistic.

‘’Faster...Please...babe’’ Chloe almost shouted between breathes. 

And she did. Beca went faster and harder, feeling her wife start to clench around her fingers. ‘’Look at me, I wanna watch you as you cum.’’ 

Beca looked up into the bright ocean blue glassy eyes. Chloe’s mouth was opened, and she was panting. With a few more hard thrusts from Beca, Chloe was arching into her, her eyes slammed shut, screaming Beca’s name as her legs shuddered and her body jolted repeatedly. 

Beca slowed her motions, bringing Chloe down from her orgasm, waiting until her breathing was more even and her legs more steady before withdrawing her fingers and leaning up to press a loving kiss to the redheads lips. ‘’I love you so much Chlo.’’ She whispered before moving to turn off the two showers. 

‘’I love you too babe.’’ Chloe replied with a lazy smile on her face. As Beca stepped back towards her, Chloe lurched forward, twisting them both so that Beca was now the one pinned up against the wall. ‘’God, I’ve wanted to get my hands on you since we got up here’’. Her voice was low and sexy and Beca loved it. 

Beca couldn’t deny that she had struggled to ignore her own need whilst tending to Chloe’s. The intensity of the heat pooling between her own legs had been driving her crazy. 

Just as Chloe pulled her into a deep kiss, Beca’s mobile started ringing. She had set a separate ring tone for Penny. Well she had set different ring tones for a lot of people, but she knew from the song that this was their daughters nanny ringing. ‘’Shit.’’ Beca sighed, but jumped out of the shower, grabbed a towel and rushed through to the bedroom, answering her phone just in time.

‘’Hello. Penny? Is Aria ok?’’ She sounded panicked.

‘’Oh Hi Mrs’ M. Yeah she’s fine. It’s just it’s her bedtime and you promised you would call, and you know this girl, she doesn’t forget.’’ Penny replied with a small laugh. 

Beca pulled her phone from her ear and glanced at the time on it. 7PM. She immediately felt awful. Whenever they were away, they would call or face time Aria at 6:45, just before she has a story and goes to bed. ‘’Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise the time. Can you put her on please?’’

A few seconds pass before Aria takes the phone. ‘’Hi Mama. Guess what? We made cookies today and Pen says if I go to bed like a good girl, then we can go to the park tomorrow and I can go on the swings and the slide and the monkey bars. And she said I can get a magazine. I want a peppa pig one.’’

‘’Whoa, ok baby, take a breath.’’ Beca laughed at the excitement in Aria’s voice. ‘’Sounds like you’ve got a busy day tomorrow then nugget.’’

They continued chatting, Beca putting her phone on loud speaker so that Chloe could take to her too. 

‘’Ok, well it’s bedtime now, we love you so so much baby girl and we will see you Sunday ok?’’ Chloe’s voice was cracking and a tear escaped the corner of her eye. 

‘’I love you Mommy. I love you Mama.’’ Aria had the sweetest little voice and those words made both women tear up. 

They looked at each other and let out a watery chuckle. Beca stepped over towards her towel clad wife and took her hand in her own. ‘’Come on, lets get dressed and go see that sun set shall we?’’

‘’But Beca, we didn’t…finish.’’ 

The brunette looked her wife in the eyes. Yeah, ten minutes ago she was ready to let the redhead ravish her, take her any which way she wanted to, but now, she just wanted to hold her. 

And yeah, it was cliché, but they sat on the beach, embraced in each others arms, silently watching as the sun set, reflecting pinks and oranges over the ocean. The perfect end to a perfect day. 

Beca would get her ‘happy ending’ later that night.

**Author's Note:**

> The song is Maisie Peters - feels like this. Definietly worth a listen.


End file.
